1. The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

4 stars. I appreciate a realistic ending over a happy ending here and there. Learned an interesting fact about why so many Black hair stores in the US and Canada are owned by Koreans.  I didn’t know this was a movie and now I need to watch it!

2. This Story Might Save Your Life by Tiffany Crum

3.5. I like listening to the audiobook version when a book is podcast-related and this one was recorded beautifully but it kind of fell apart for me in the second half. I think the book cover is lovely but I have no idea what it has to do with the book itself.

3. All the Little Houses by May Cobb

LOL was this a joke? Zero stars. So terrible and stupid AND LONG. I didn’t read The Hunting Wives but I watched the series and enjoyed it enough to decide to read this one. It just makes me wonder HOW DID THIS BROAD GET ANYTHING ADAPTED TO TV?! Her writing is atrocious and her characters ARE ALL THE SAME. Just trash and not even the kind that’s fun to read despite of its garbage qualities.

4. The Villain Edit by Laurie Devore

I think I should just avoid books with reality shows as a plot.

5. The Optimists by Brian Platzer

Yay finally a great book with compelling characters and an interesting storyline! I loved loved loved the narrator of this book -a retired middle school teacher telling a story of his most prized student, I can’t explain what I loved so much about this book (I actually tried explaining it to my dietician on our last call and I’m positive I did NOT sell her on it), but I felt very emotionally attached to several characters and the end of it broke me a little bit. So good. Quirky. Interesting. Unique. Unforgettable. 5 stars.

6. Creep by Emma van Straaten

2 stars, could have been so much more stalker-y but instead it was just endless pages of being trapped inside the main character’s head and her thoughts were half past interesting, more toward insufferable. If this were 2004, I bet the author would have NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS in her MySpace bio,

7. Into the Blue by Emma Brodie

Another miss for me. To the author’s credit though, I do not like sci-fi stuff and this whole book is basically a romance woven around some cult-classic sci-fi TV show. I was so tuned out for most of it.

8. So Old, So Young by Grant Ginder

This seems like a really toxic (not to mention, boring) friend group. I really liked the first chapter where we find out that someone has died and one of the friends is en route from London to NYC for the funeral. I basically just kept reading o find out who it was that died. I hadn’t connected much at all with any of the characters so when I found out who it was, I was like, “Aw. Oh well.”

Kind of interesting concept is that the book is broken up into sections with focus on one part or event over the years that brings all the friends together to one location, and then each character gets their own chapter within those sections, so see each event from multiple perspectives. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t love it – middle of the road 3 stars for me.

9. Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

Me, two seconds ago: I don’t like science fiction.

Also me: I loved Project Hail Mary! 5 stars!

Honestly, I had avoided this book for the last several years, no matter how many booktubers put it in their end of the year lists. I just felt with my whole heart that I would not like it. And honestly, I almost DNFd it at first and if I hadn’t opted for the audiobook I probably wouldn’t have made it very far into a physical copy. SO MUCH MATH! AND SCIENCE!  Like, duh Erin. Read the room. (Or a synopsis.)

But Chooch had been hounding me to read it (he made us buy him the book in March so he could read it before the movie came out) before seeing the movie. I’m glad that I did! The movie was amazing too but I think reading the book first definitely gave me a deeper appreciation for the characters but seeing the movie helped me understand WTF was happening a lot better. I need to be hand-held through certain things in life, you guys.

Amaze amaze amaze.

10. American Fantasy by Emma Straub

Oh this was bad. And to think her dad is one of my favorite authors of all time.  This apple fell off the tree, rolled down a hill, and off a fucking cliff.

11. Best Offer Wins by Marisa Kashino

Woman desperately wants to buy a house (not just “a” house, but HER DREAM HOUSE) and goes to unhinged lengths to acquire it. Great premise, very poor execution. I was not rooting for this broad even a little.

12. Everyone Is Lying to You by Jo Piazza

Nope.

13. Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Ace Atkins

KGB agents in 1980s America. Let’s go.

There is a rotating cast characters here and they all get their own chapters. Some I could have easily done without, but I loved when it was 14-year-old Peter’s chapters, and the has-been writer Hotch and his drag sidekick Jackie Demure.

Honestly could have used more Jackie. But overall, really entertaining!

And that’s it for April. Some doozies but also some fun stuff too!

Henry and I did one of our whirlwind drives to Philly last Sunday to spend the day after Chooch’s birthday with him. Then drive there was relatively quick and painless unless you count the DOUBLE ROCK to the windshield that happened immediately upon entering the turnpike. It cracked the window in two places but luckily was small enough that it was completely covered by insurance so that is what Henry did Monday morning (good thing we both had the day off lol ugh).

A few months ago, Chooch and his friends did a little day trip to some historical British town in NJ – Haddonfield, I think? He had texted me that day to tell me that they wet to crepe place that he thought I would like, so that was what he suggested we do on this day. It was only about 25 minutes more of a drive once we collected him from University City and this was also good because:

• we were all hungry and didn’t want to deal with parking and then taking SEPTA into Philly (I hate SEPTA);
• I didn’t want to see any of the Pens rage-bait that was allegedly up throughout the city (fuck the Flyers forever)

But then I looked up the crepe place and it’s a freaking CHAIN and we have one in Squirrel Hill (a part of Pgh that we go to A LOT) so I was like, “Bro, are you sure this is what you want to do for your birthday lunch?” and he was like, “I only suggested it because I thought you wanted to go there.”

!!!!

What a nice sentiment but we didn’t drive 4 hours to eat somewhere we could eat at home, LOL.

And of course, Chooch was wearing a Wolfman’s Got Nards  t-shirt (it was like 50 degrees out), sweatpants, and his Minions Crocs so we couldn’t go to any of the cute little bistro-type places we walked past. We settled on this odd Italian cafeteria thing??

It’s called Passariello’s and was SO CONFUSING. I think this is also a chain BTW but you walk in and they give you a card and then you go around to all the different stations (pizza, pasta, etc), order that you want and hand over your card for them to scan your order onto so that after you eat, you can just hand over your card to the cashier and pay. But I felt like I had ordering paralysis. First, I knee jerk-ordered a piece of pizza that I didn’t want only to walk farther down and discover a stating that had arancini and some kind of eggplant roll thing. So I got those and Henry said he would eat my pizza in addition to his pizza because that is why we bring him to restaurants with us. Henry “Leave No Scraps” Robbins.

(WHOA HOLD THE PHONE, when I was investigating this Passariello’s place, I saw that in addition to Haddonfield, they also have a location in VOORHEES. Guys: Haddonfield = Halloween, Voorhees = Friday the 13th. What the HELLLLL.)

The food was decent but wow that whole process was insanely confusing to a stoop like me, honestly. Chooch pointed out a couple that came in after we sat down and they also looked terrified and frozen in confusion, so that made me feel better.

Price-wise, it ended up being a lot less than I guessed! We got like 3x as much food as we did at Busch Gardens in March (sorry but this is my new basis of comparison for food prices) and it was like $50-some dollars as opposed to over $90-something at BG not including the two beers we got for like $30!!!

Afterward, we strolled around Haddonfield like the quaint, loving, nuclear unit we are. Henry even bought us books at an indie bookshop! (Great Expectations for Chooch, two blank journals for me.)

Totally a cute little town!

Then we each got a cookie at this cute cookie place. They were good but NO SNICKERDOODLE?? I thought it was a requirement for all cookie shops to have snickerdoodle as a permanent selection in the case BUT OK.

The next part was boring. We drove down the street to a Home Depot so Chooch could get plant soil. So, he and Henry were discussing boring plant and potting things that I was not interested in.

The bridge back into Philly.

We parked the car while Chooch took his plant crap up into his room, and then we reconvened to walk through the little flea market thingie that was set up in the street next to his building. There was this giant painting of a nude broad reading a book that I meant to go back for but we ended up walking back to the car a different way UGH. Anyway, no one bought anything.

Chooch was like, “Oh there is a new cafe that opened recently. It’s Yemeni. We can go there.” So we did and it was REALLY NICE – I got a date latte which was just totally delectable. Chooch got some traditional spice tea latte that was similar to chai and immediately hated it because he thought it was going to be sweet. I tasted it and LOVED IT. Henry liked it too so he swapped his pistachio latte for it and everyone was content.

Henry heavy-panting and fogging up the dessert case.

There was something on the Henry expressed interest in and I said that maybe the new Yemeni cafe that just opened in Brookline has it but Henry didn’t see it on their menu. Then I remembered that there is also a Yemeni cafe in Oakland so as I was Googling it, I realized that it was the SAME PLACE AS THE CAFE WE WERE AT.

“What is up with you taking us to places we can also go to in Pittsburgh?” I cried and Chooch just cracked up. Seriously though, it was really good there, the drinks were high quality, and the people were so nice. Plus, it sort of smelled like an airport (in a good way) so it made me feel like I was on vacation.

Instead of going back the way we came, we walked one block over so Chooch could show us the place he’ll be living in next year since the last time we took him back, we only got to do a drive-by in the car.

No, this isn’t where he will be living, I just liked the mural LOL. No photos of his new place because I may do stupid shit on here but let’s not add doxxing my own son to the list.

I will say that there some charming houses on his soon-to-be new street! It was such a pleasant walk. And we saw squirrels and cats, can’t beat it.

Sadly, it was around 5PM by then and Chooch had shit to do, plus we had to start our drive home. It was such a nice day, I love getting to see Chooch so much! Even though he is still very annoying and frustrating to talk to at times, LOL. 20 isn’t the magic age, I see.

The drive home was actually kind of fun because we just chatted about the Midnight concert and listened to a playlist for the “summer school” tour concert we’re going to in July which is mostly female-fronted pop punk bands. Just a really nice time together in the car, awwww how cute, how presh.

OK, no one is going to care about this, but something happened at last week’s The Midnight concert that had me S H O O K. Before I further explain, there is some required reading to prep you (“you” as if anyone is reading this) for THE SHOCKING STORY I’m about to tell. The tale starts in 2019 and involves Chooch and I LOVINGLY HARANGUING JANNA, as we were born to do.

———————————————–

JANNA’S FUTURE HUSBAND

OK how to even start this story. Well, I guess it starts the same way they all do: I became obsessed with this one YouTube channel that features a group of guys who go to amusement parks and carnivals and vlog about it, but sometimes the friend of one of the guys shows up and for some reason, I have really taken to him.

In an effort to keep my blog out of search engines, let’s just call him Fleece Radkins.

Now, Fleece sometimes shows up in the vlogs of his friend, Flint Yesvac. Their home parks are King’s Dominion and Busch Gardens Williamsburg, and actually, one of the Busch Gardens vlogs was the first time I saw Fleece. I liked him because after every ride, he would stoically and confidently state, “That’s my favorite ride in the park.”

So then Janna was visiting one time and Chooch was like “JANNA WATCH ME PLAY FORTNITE JANNA CAN I HAVE YOUR GAMING COMPUTER” and I was like, “JANNA CHOOSE AN NCT127 BIAS AND WATCH THESE ROLLER COASTER VIDEOS!” so I showed her one of the vlogs that featured Fleece and yelled, “ISN’T HE FUNNY” and she was like, “I guess?” and I was like, “OMG JANNA LIKES FLEECE!”

And then Chooch abandoned Fortnight in an effort to help me harangue Janna mercilessly like any other Saturday night in Hell House and we decided that we needed to hook them up.

So the first step, naturally, was to find him on Instagram. I did, but his profile is private and he doesn’t have a lot of friends so I didn’t want to request him.

“I feel like he’s much too young, though!” Janna pointed out, which means that she was at least considering it.

That fall, Henry, Chooch and I went to King’s Dominion. We were walking to Grizzly when Henry casually asked, “Hey, wasn’t that one of the guys in those videos you watch?” and I was like, “Huh? Who? Where? Why?” because I am the most unalert when it comes to other people while I’m walking. I mostly keep my eyes on the ground so that I don’t trip.

However, when I turned around to look, even from the back and with eyes as jacked as mine (and I do not mean jacked as in muscular, my eyes are basically saggy orbs that are close to serving as just facial decoration) I recognized one of the passersby as FLEECE RADKINS.

“Holy shit!” I screeched to Chooch, and we were frozen, watching him walk away with his group of friends.

“Was it really him?” Chooch asked, and there was only one way to find out: CHASE HIM SUPER STEALTHILY AND STARE AT HIS FACE FROM CLOSE RANGE.

We caught up with him just as he walked up to the Wayside Grill, so I stood right next to him and said, “HMMM, LOOKING AT THE MENU” while,  you know, looking at the menu. Then Fleece walked away and sat down on a wall while his friends stayed in line, and at that point, I was 99.9% confident that it was him so I made Chooch pose for a fake picture.

FLEECE RADKINS, ladies and gentlemen!

I sent the picture to Janna.

She was a bit less enthused than I expected her to be. I guess I wanted her to be upset that she wasn’t there but she seemed pretty flippant about it, what a bitch!

YOU GUYS, TWO HOURS LATER, WE SAW HIM AGAIN IN THE SAME SPOT!!

Henry didn’t know that Fleece was behind him, so Chooch ran up to Henry and whisper-screamed, “DON’T LOOK BEHIND YOU BUT FLEECE RADKINS IS RIGHT THERE” and I was standing behind Fleece close enough to see that Fleece’s eyes were honed in right on Chooch and he totally had to have known that he was the subject of their DON’T TURN AROUND conversation.

I never did approach the guy because he’s not even a part of that YouTube channel, he’s just kind of like an occasional tag-alonger so I would have felt uncomfortable being like, “HEY I HAVE SEEN YOU IN THREE VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE AND I HAVE CLEARLY WATCHED THOSE THREE VIDEOS ENOUGH TIMES FOR EVEN MY BOYFRIEND WHO ONLY HALF-WATCHES THE VIDEOS TO RECOGNIZE YOU CAN I GET A SELFIE?”

Yeah, no thanks.

Back at work (a/k/a The Place Without Roller Coasters), Glenn thought this was such a great story that he made me tell it in our weekly meeting and absolutely no one was shocked that I was stalking some guy that I kind of know from 3 YouTube videos. So, your typical Tuesday meeting.

FLASH FORWARD TO 2023

OK, got that? You marinating in those juicy, wet fact-globules?

Now picture this: I’m sitting at home, chained to my computer, doing Law Firm stuff (remember when Chooch thought I was a stock broker, though?) when Chooch texts me from work. It’s a picture of someone’s Chipotle order, and I’m like, “What am I looking at, the fact that this bro is a meat-psycho, or what?”

And then I see the name.

Mmm, no way. I’m sure Fleece Radkins isn’t that uncommon so probably just a funny coincidence. But then I remembered that there is an ACE event at Kennywood this weekend, so MAYBE he was in town for that? I mean, odd to come in so many days in advance considering this is PITTSBURGH, but who am I to judge.

“Send me his picture, I forget what he looks like,” Chooch texted, just on the off chance that this was the same guy. Because my blog goes down EVERYDAY NOW, this was of course one of those times so I couldn’t search my blog for his picture and instead had to google his name plus the name of the guy whose YouTube videos he sometimes has cameo appearances in.

In doing so, I saw that the second result was a LinkedIn page for a guy with the same name, his profile picture was definitely the same guy, and it said PITTSBURGH, PA??

My heart started racing (LOL why tho) and sent it to Chooch who replied: lol should i say something to him

UM YES PLZ LOL.

Anyway, Chooch finally texted me back a few minutes later and said it was definitely him, they talked, it was awkward. “I’ll tell you later, I have to go back to work,” he said, leaving me hanging for approx. 4 hours. Meanwhile, I was frantically trying to tell Carrie and Nate this over Jabber at work, knowing they would be the only ones who would care. I did NOT know what to do with this useless information!!

By the time Chooch came home from work and I accosted him for the 411, he had already half-moved on with his life and didn’t know what I was asking him at first?? How was this story not just PERCHED on the tip of his tongue, ready to roll the moment he walked through the door??

“Oh, that,” he laughed, “Yeah, it was really awkward.”

And here’s why: BECAUSE CHOOCH MADE IT THAT WAY.

First of all, instead of being straightforward and saying, “Hey, aren’t you in some of Flint Yesvak’s coaster videos?” he instead decided to play a weird psychological game by pretending that he looked familiar but wasn’t SURE HOW.

So of course, Fleece is probably on guard. I know any time someone says, “Hey, do I know you from somewhere?” to me, hundreds of “wrong place/wrong time” scenarios whiz through my mind like a Rolodex of Ill Repute.

“Is this a hitchhiker I picked up in 1999?”

“Is this one of the moms from Chooch’s first (Catholic LOLOLOL) school where I was publicly shunned for being the MEAN GIRL who was blogging about all of the douchey parents??”

“Is this one of the people I met on WEBTV and invited to my house when I was going through an ‘Interviewing for New Friends’ phase???”

You see what I mean.

“I think I saw you in a video,” Chooch ended up saying to Fleece, like it JUST CAME TO HIM.

He said Fleece very cautiously asked, “What….kind…of video?”

“Oh, I think…coasters maybe,” Chooch said, still toying with him. I’m so glad I didn’t witness this. I was actually squealing in embarrassment just listening to his replay of the interrogation.

From there, Fleece deduced where Chooch had seen him which was good because Chooch legitmately couldn’t remember the name of the Fleece’s friend’s channel. Not having anything else to say, they exchanged “Nice to meet you”s and then Fleece took his burrito and left. Watch him never come back to that Chipotle.

“Didn’t you see the screenshot of his LinkedIn that I sent you? He went to school for Computer Science – you could have talked to him about that!” I cried.

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO LEAD INTO THAT??” Chooch asked incredulously. “‘Excuse me, but when I was perusing your LinkedIn page while waiting for you to come in, I noticed that you went to school for Computer Science’???”

Chooch also said that it was funny because when he first got the order, all he saw was the “Fleece R” and that the full name doesn’t come up until you print it, I guess? He said he immediately thought to himself, “Fleece Radkins lol.” AND THEN HE SAW THE FULL NAME AND WAS LIKE, “………….nah.” What a small fucking world.

But yeah, now that we know he lives in Pittsburgh, Janna has much better chances of marrying him! I’m so excited for her!!

(As I was telling this to story to people, it was kind of alarming to me to realize how many times I start off by saying, “OK remember that one person I was obsessed with from [insert CVS, MY NEIGHBORHOOD, THE PARKING LOT OUTSIDE OF A RESTAURANT, THE TROLLEY, OBSCURE BAND, NICHE YOUTUBE CHANNEL, AMISH CHEESE SHOP]???”)

OK now we are back to 2026 (JFC I almost put 2024 and then 2025, could not remember the year, awesome) and you know all about us shipping Janna with the inimitable FLEECE RADKINS. But what I didn’t mention back then is that we had a BACKUP SHIP for Janna. There is another coaster YouTuber we love (he’s the best one, honestly) and he has friends from all over who make appearances in his vlogs depending on which park he’s visiting. He calls himself and his friends the Coaster Idiots and most of them do not have their own YouTube channels but have become “known” in the coaster scene (yes, I realize how weird this is the more words that I type, life is so unserious sometimes) and TWO OF THEM WERE ACTUALLY ON THE COASTER CREW TRIP WE WENT ON IN 2023!! Chooch and I chatted with one of them several times and because Insta friends with him afterward and I’m still so happy about that because he is one of my favorite coaster idiots.

Anyway!!! There is one Coaster Idiot who is jokingly referred to as Uncle Nate. He usually is wearing a trucker hat and big mirrored sunglasses and gives off an ironic predator vibe. Well, at least in the past – he seems to have toned down that character lately and is just “himself” now. Chooch and I were pushing Uncle Nate on Janna at one point and she was not happy about it because of his sleazy persona.

Truly though he is so funny and I’m always happy when he pops up in a Coaster Idiots video.

The guy who runs that channel is from NJ and I’m pretty sure he has mentioned that Uncle Nate lives somewhere in rural PA and that his home park is hilariously Conneaut Lake Park (which I believe is closed now after all kind of scandals and fires, it was its own untelevised soap opera). This is about an hour or so outside of Pittsburgh, so when Henry and I were standing in line waiting for doors to open at the Roxian last week and a familiar looking guy walked past us toward the end of the line, it wasn’t THAT far-fetched to believe that it was Uncle Nate, but also, WAS THAT UNCLE NATE?? Henry and I both looked at each other at the same time, like, “You saw that, right? Was that—-?”

“I really think it was him,” Henry said, and then creepily commented on his leg tattoos. I’m sorry Henry, but I’m not typically studying Uncle Nate’s legs when I’m watching those videos?!

I texted Chooch immediately, like, “I think Uncle Nate is at this concert?!” and his response was, “Who?” I swear to god, that kid moved to Philly and immediately his brain became a sieve for all Pgh-related memories.

Once we were inside the venue and eventually found our “forever spot” (I hate the Rosina, truly, there is no good place to stand in that fucking place), HE WALKED PAST US!?

There is he along with the tattoos that Henry has apparently saved to memory.

I was seriously going to say something but then the show started. I was standing RIGHT BEHIND HIM for the entire thing. I was going to wait until after the show to hopefully-not-creepily ask, “Hey, you’re not UNCLE NATE the COASTER IDIOT are you?” but then!! He almost got in a fight with the super tall and super drunk and super annoying bro next to us, whose gf was also super tall and super drunk and super annoying and kept bumping into Uncle Nate, who was getting visibly ruffled. Then she kept STROKING UNCLE NATE’S ARM while apologizing!? I could kind of read his lips and it sounded like he said something about having a new tattoo under his sleeve that she kept flailing into. He did NOT look like he was accepting her apology and then a few minutes later when she tripped up against the back of him, he stiffened and shook his head.

So then her annoying bro bf (who HAD HIS SUNGLASSES ON FOR THE WHOLE SHOW, WOW SO COOL) leaned across me because he was apparently about to start to a fight with Uncle Nate but his gf stepped in and slurred, “No, don’t start, please!” So it never escalated from there but poor Uncle Nate’s night was tarnished because of that. They were annoying me too—the gf hit me in the face at one point when she was drunkenly flailing her arms about in some weird jellyfish dance, but then they eventually left for more drinks (I imagine) and their vacated spot was taken by another couple who were cool and normal.

When the show ended, Nate and his gf (wife? sorry Janna) split with a quickness so I never did get to say anything. Besides, I was sweating my ass off and my throat hurt from screaming and singing (well, yelling words, I can’t sing) and approaching a stranger was the last thing I wanted to do at that point.

However, we are probably in their picture because as we were waiting to cross the street in front of the Roxian, he and his gf were already on the other side of the road taking a picture of the venue and marquee. I’ll have no way of knowing because he’s not on Instagram! (I know this because he’s always the only Coaster Idiot not tagged, duh.)

I just thought that this was so funny, that Chooch and I jokingly chose two random coaster channel side characters to ship Janna with (from two different channels, too!) and somehow I have seen both of them out in the wild. Chooch’s second Fleece Radkins encounter still takes the cake, though!

It’s times like this when I wish we still worked in the office because I was dying to talk about this all week! Well, there’s always therapy this week, get ready Julia, lol.

We just came back from seeing Mother Mary at the Hollywood Theater.

I can’t remember the last time I had such an unenjoyable time at the movies. I hated every second of that movie except for the 5 minutes FKA Twigs was in.

Anne Hathaway does nothing for me (more like ANNE GOAWAY amirite guyz? Guyz??), the story itself was SO BAD, the writing had me cringing to the point of pain. My decade + long streak of loving every single A24 movie I’ve watched has officially come to an end.

Also???? Not a knock to the movie but there is a scene where they show fans in the crowd and some are wearing these sharp ass protruding crowns and I swear if any kpop group adopts a religious theme and fans start wearing elaborate eye-pokers to concerts I’m going to be so pissed.

Just like I’m pissed that we paid to see that big screen slop.

Well anyway what a grand end to an annoying day. Happy to be cuddling with Penelope now.

Mono no aware (物の哀れ) is a Japanese phrase that loosely translates to “a sense of nostalgic wistfulness and the awareness that nothing lasts forever.” This is also the motto of the synthwave band The Midnight and it perfectly explains how I feel when listening to them and this whole genre of music.

I was trying to remember how this new generation of synth found me, and I think it was over the summer of 2020 when we were in the midst of Project 1980s Dream Kitchen. We were constantly soundtracked by 80s music that summer for inspo, primarily YACHT ROCK. I think YouTube picked up on that algorithm and started to slip in some “retrowave” playlists into the mix. I had no idea there was this new evolution of synthpop / synthwave / futurewave / retrowave /whatever wave as long as it’s backed by synth going on! I was hooked. It became something that comforted me during the pandemic and continued to provide happiness even afterward while I adjusted to the new norm of working from home.

I am constantly nostalgic for the 80s, I loved my childhood, I loved being with my Pappap, at his house, swimming in the pool, eating grilled cheese in the kitchen or at the Blue Flame. I loved going on errands with my mom in her old Pontiac Grand Am, Rick Astley or Michael Jackson on the radio, her yelling at me for spilling McD’s sweet and sour sauce on the car seat. LOL. The 80s were the best. And this music touches on that sweet spot in a way that I cannot get enough of! Get me an abandoned department store to roller skate through in the middle of night, STAT.

The Midnight is arguably one of the pioneers and heavy hitters of this synth renaissance so when they announced their tour last November, I bought two tickets ASAP. April 25th finally arrived (Chooch’s birthday, no less!) and I had butterflies in my stomach all day—I WAS SO STOKED FOR THIS! So far, Ollie Wride has been the only synthwave artist I’ve seen live. I guess because I got into this through YouTube playlists, and there aren’t official videos showing the bands/artists, it never occurred to me that these were touring musicians, if that makes sense? Like, it has always been my comfort background music during the day, and every time I turn around, the TV is usually showing an illustration of a 1980s Ferrari cruising into the Miami sunset. You know the ubiquitous retro 80s scene.

The Ollie Wride show was very small, at the Crafthouse, well under 500 people I would say. And the crowd was mostly older and pretty much what I would expect.

The Midnight is on another level though, which I had NO IDEA because again – I have been appreciating this music in my own little bubble and had no idea what the scene was like, or that there even WAS a scene. Well, there is. Enough of a scene that The Midnight sold out the Roxian. And the crowd was very diverse. Way more dude-bros than I would have thought, but we’ll leave that for the next post! This one is just to appreciate the Midnight and the whole scene they represent because it is a breath of fresh air. The perfect balance of throw-back and current.

But first – New Constellations!

They’re from Portland, OR and immediately proved to be the perfect complement to the Midnight. Harlee Case can SANG. For just two people, they were super high energy and got us all going immediately – I loved them! I always give the opening bands my full attention but even if I wasn’t one of those people, I don’t see how anyone there could have ignored them. They were so good!

But OMG, the Midnight. It was SURREAL seeing them in person, on a stage, right in front of me! The Midnight is technically just two people—Atlanta-based singer-songwriter Tyler Lyle and Portland–based Danish producer, songwriter, and singer Tim McEwan. Did I straight up copy that from Wiki because I am a tired Elder working from home with a cat on my lap while having a tough time stringing together full sentences without typos? Affirmative.

But they have a full touring band that includes Justin Klunk on sax (my FAVORITE member of the Midnight’s touring band!). He was AMAZE AMAZE AMAZE. (Sorry, this show came one day after we say Project Hail Mary and three days after I read it, so…lol.)

There was a cluster of sax fans in the pit and every time there was a sax solo, they would thrust these mini blow-up saxes into the air – it was fucking PRECIOUS. And at one point, Justin jumped off the stage into the crowd and I thought he was just going to go over to his fan club, but then he ended up continuing around the floor and walked past where I was standing too!

And OBLYVN on synths!!

She has this nasty keytar when she performs with the Midnight and I was obsessed.

Harlee came out to sing on “Jason”! Henry, who wasn’t standing near me, but was all the way against the wall to the left side of the stage, was tasked with video duty for me. I found out later that he had three beers (he was standing right next to the bar) and it shows in some of the videos he took, LOL!

My all-time favorite song of theirs’ is Sunset and that was the last song they performed – everyone went feral over it! That song IS SO GOOD. It makes me feel so alive while also missing Drew so much—she was always with me in the beginning stages of my retrowave phase so I can’t help but associate this music with her. In fact, there is one song by Kalax that I 100% cannot listen to at all anymore because it makes me crippled with hysterical, messy sobs thinking of her.

But this song, though, it screams 1980s summer vacation to me.

I loved that they began and ended with this background which is so similar to the images used in the retrowave playlists on YouTube IYKYK.

SETLIST:

1. Sanctuary / Love Is an Ocean
2. Friction
3. Gloria
4. Lost Boy
5. Deep Blue / River of Darkness
6. Energy Never Dies, It Just Transforms / The Comeback Kid
7. Shadows
8. Jason
9. The Right Way / Explorers
10. Heartbeat
11. Change Your Heart or Die
12. Heart Worth Breaking
13. Los Angeles
14. River of Forgetfulness (Medley) / Endless Summer / Lonely City / Synthetic / Crockett’s Revenge / Kick Drums & Red Wine / Crystalline
15. First Night In Paris
16. Good in Red
17. Vampires
18. Days of Thunder

ENCORE:

1. Summer’s Ending Soon
2. Sunset

I was so sweaty by the time it was over! What a workout.

Reunited with Henry, lol.

Some quick afterthoughts:

• I hate the Roxian for real
• Henry actually really enjoyed it and said he knew a lot of the songs (I mean, he lives in a house where this stuff is played on a loop, how could he not)
• I saw someone here that was so hilarious to me, it warrants a separate post
• There was such a random convergence of demographics in the crowd that it’s made me uber curious how others discovered the Midnight / the genre
• What a fun way to celebrate the anniversary of my C-Section incision!

Even after taking off yesterday, I am still not fully recovered from the weekend yet – I AM GETTING OLD, YO. So, here are some pictures of some of my favorite little nooks around the house + some thoughts.

Henry went to Busy Beaver to pick up potting soil and hanging pots and texted me to tell me that a Seventeen song was playing there, lol. (It was Love Money Fame, in case you care.)

Speaking of plant things and being off yesterday, Henry and spent a good portion of the afternoon walking in Cedar Creek Park or something – it was just us and hordes of elderly people on motorized bikes – and then we went to some nursery on Rt. 51 to get flowers for the pots on the porch so that was fun. Ideally, I would love to purchase a small forest of trees and bushes to line the one side of my porch so that my bitch neighbor can’t glare over here every time she’s outside miserably sweeping her porch and cursing the squirrels. GET A FUCKING LIFE.

Penelope ate a lot today! She seems to be enjoying this one flavor of Small’s that came in a sampler pack I ordered for her. I hope I can find it at a brick and mortar store because I am really not trying to have another subscription to anything, especially not for cat food when Penelope is so freaking picky!! Behaviorally, she seems fine though, so I’m not completely panicking yet but you all know how I handled Drew’s death (I did not handle it) so please god let me not have to deal with tragedy again so soon. Please.

Henry is currently listening to Heart the Lover at my insistence and he said he really likes it but then he told me what part he was at and I immediately started crying all over again just thinking about this book, I love it so much, like if it wouldn’t hurt and I wouldn’t die from it, I would cut open my chest and tuck the whole book inside so that it could touch my heart. I don’t know what made me think of that but the image just played out so vividly in my head and I had to tell you, my dear sweet blog, my only friend, my precious confidant.

Our one neighbor,  the trashy NRA tshirt-wearin’ son of our landlord, suddenly has a baby. Like, a new-ish looking baby, baby carrier in the car and everything. I made Henry text HNC to get the scoop and all he said was, “Yes, it’s his baby, the mom isn’t in the picture.”

Then HNC’s wife’s oldest daughter was visiting and she also had a new baby strapped to her chest and Henry was like IS THAT HER BABY??? and I have no idea, but she is probably around my age, not that women in their 40s can’t have babies, but I find it strange that HNC’s wife wouldn’t have been hollering about this from the rooftop for the last year?

Also, Girl Buddy has new babies in HNC’s porch roof so wow, fertile Pioneer Ave., we see you but please keep me the fuck out of the impregnation parties, thanks.

Chooch encouraged me to read Project Hail Mary before going to see the movie, so Henry and I both listened to the audio book last week (thank god for the audiobook hard carry because sheesh that book was soooo science-and-mathy that I do not think I would have made it very far reading the physical copy, plus listening to Rocky’s “voice” was so charming). We went to see the movie Friday night and it was so good, loved it, and I am happy to see that I made it through the whole thing without crying very hard because I knew the outcome, I guess, so that was good.

Also, I really do not enjoy going to the movies unless it’s a small theater (like the Harris or Hollywood) and mostly empty. I’m such a fucking princess. The only exception I can think of is….

…the times we saw NTBTSTM in the theater because that movie actually works so much better with a full audience because it is SO FUNNY AND I AM STILL OBSESSED WITH THIS.

IN THIS HOUSE, WE ARE STILL SCREAMING:

• FUCK ICE
• FUCK TRUMP
• FREE PALESTINE
• NO KINGS

Just in case you were wondering. The fury and rage is about to burn us alive.

One of our neighbors on the other side of the (Chooch’s nemesis from back in the day) has a lawn mowing compulsion and now that it’s spring, he has been POPPING OFF out there. Henry JUST cut our grass yesterday and bro RE-CUT it tonight! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MY GUY?? THERE IS NOTHING THERE TO CUT! And of course, he powered up when I was exercising so I had to deal with him looming beneath the window while I was sweating to a tabata workout on YouTube so that was GREAT. This street pisses me off so much.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. Look forward to an upcoming post about The Midnight show and our quick visit with Chooch. I’m so used to saying my life is boring but it has genuinely been so active and exciting these last few months!

I’m pretty sure I have shared these photos countless times over the years, but this little cartoon baby turned T W E N T Y yesterday and I need to put them in your faces again.

I feel so old and panicked over this latest birthday but also proud because he is just so cool and genuinely a good person. Henry and I can’t take all the credit for that – he was raised around some of the best people we know and their presence and influence definitely helped shaped him into the independent person he is today (you all know who you are and thank you for being part of his life and hanging out with him like he was just another one of the grownups!).

We’re currently on the way home after spending some time with him today in Philly and I miss him already. ;(

Ah! When I saw that Past Self was going on tour with Clan of Xymox, I legit yelped a little bit! I have been following them for about a year or so on Instagram, since my algorithm gives me all of the Korean stuff, it was thoughtful enough to be like, “Here is a Korean goth band for your consideration.”

It’s not a secret or even a fun fact really, but I did have a pretty extensive Goth phase in my late teens/early 20s thanks to accidentally discovering a Goth chatroom called Darkchat on WEBTV in my mom’s basement, LOL. I was so obsessed with it that I would go to her house constantly to use it until she finally bought me my own WebTV console thingie. (I was living in my first apartment at the time and didn’t have a PC or a laptop yet.)

I made so many friends on that damn website, many with whom I’ll still in touch to this day, and this was also the source of much drama and crazy meet-ups as well. I had already liked the Cure at the time, and even Robert will eschew any attempts at Goth pigeon-holing, but this was when I actually started to learn about GOTH-GOTH music.

And I LIKED it.

However, I never looked or dressed the part, and that’s not an easy scene to be a part of if you’re not skulking around white face powder and black lipstick. I always looked too bubblegum and while I had a lot of Internet Goth friends, I would tend to get sneered at when out and about at Goth functions, like the infamous Dracula’s Ball, LOL. God, they hated me there.

So, I eventually fell out of that scene and, aside from The Cure and peripheral Goth bands like Gary Numan, I haven’t had any recent exposure. But Clan of Xymox is an old band (formed in the early 80s) so I figured the majority of the crowd would be people my age and older and less likely to judge me and my blond hair and Vans.

I was right.

We got in line around 6:30PM and almost immediately, the woman in front of me said, “OK, I’m obsessed with your bracelet” and so I gave her the Etsy shop where it’s from and we started chatting a little bit about how cool the jewelry is (Martha Rotten, you make the best conversation starters!). I was excited because this woman was in a legit Goth gown and her husband even had a Gothic print button-down shirt, so I felt seen. Like, I belonged there too!

There were some younger people in line, like a couple of cyber goths a few people ahead of us. That brought back BIG nostalgia, seeing the coiled extensions in the one girl’s hair and the super high platform boots. If you’ve never seen Goths dance, it can be pretty stompy, so the boots are an essential piece of the wardrobe.

In general, it was one of the most peaceful lines I’ve stood in before a show. Everyone was polite. It was fun to see what everyone was wearing. It was exciting to know every band that was being name-dropped around me because it turns out, the scene hasn’t changed too much since I last paid attention! Lots of Skinny Puppy and Depeche Mode references. It definitely appeared that everyone was there for Clan of Xymox so I was curious how well-received Past Self would be.

Oh, one more thing – the guy in charge of checking IDs of everyone in line was so nice. Great first impression of the Rumba Cafe!

We were finally let in a bit after 7PM and I had to run straight to the bathroom because theater at Ramble House or whatever that bluegrass bar was called had gone right through me plus MY PERIOD WAS IN TOWN. (Henry reminded me last week of how I used to call my period “Maude.” I literally forgot all about that!)

Anyway, while I was in the bathroom, someone started trying to force the door open from the other side and I was in PANIC MODE. That is the worst feeling ever. First of all, bathrooms in small clubs like that usually have the dinkiest lock on the door so I was PRAYING to the Goddess Hela (I don’t know, what goddesses do the Goth girlies pray to these days?) that the lock would not give out and expose me in a full-on tampon insertion pose. I quickly finished up and when I opened the door to leave, an entire crowd had formed outside, JFC. Thank god I was the first one to make it back there, because I was not in any position to stand in another line.

We secured a spot at the corner of the bar and it ended up being mostly fine.

I liked the lady who was sitting next to me on a stool, and her husband was wearing a cool Goth tophat and pointed out my bracelet to her. I’m telling you, that fucking bracelet stole the show that day.

In case you were wondering what it looks like, there are pictures in this post:

Bangles & bengals & Bingle Bangle

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, but Past Self came out and was exactly what I wanted. Dark synth is a motherfucking drug to me, I was IN A ZONE instantly. Their stage presence was haunting without being try-hard. The singer’s voice had that signature deep tone that I came to know and love during my Goth years.

They’re from Las Vegas and the singer is Korean American, so the lyrics are a blend of Korean and English. I was so stoked when I caught Korean words here and there that I knew!

Props to Henry for getting pictures for me since I am too short. (No one was behind us but the bar so he was able to freely hold his arms up, knowing that he wasn’t being THAT PERSON who was blocking the view of everyone behind him.)

Here’s one of their videos, please watch and enjoy. (DO IT. The song means “rusty knife” and I will cut you with one if you don’t watch!!!!)

(J/K.)

After their set, we moved to the back of the venue so I could get merch. I like Clan of Xymox but didn’t feel the need to be super close for them, so this seemed like a good spot. And it happened to be where my friends from the line were!

Clan of Xymox came out with a bang, ISTG. The whole room just exploded with energy and I was caught up in it immediately. Henry, not so much. He ended up ditching me and going to stand by himself near the door after awhile and I didn’t even notice at first, LOL Everything was fine until some young guy came out of nowhere and wedged himself in between me and the girl next to me. Turns out she was his friend and he then proceeded to have a full-blown conversation with her the entire time, with very little silence. It was absolutely annoying and rude. She seemed to have been enjoying the show before he arrived, too, so I’m not sure how she felt about Chatty Chad stealing the show, but I know how I felt. I kept glaring at him and he was NOT picking up on it. Had to have been in his early 20s, no couch, 눈치 없어.

READ THE FUCKING ROOM! Why why why do people go to concerts to talk?! Go to, I don’t know, fucking Denny’s! Get a fucking coffee and Grand Slam and talk until your lips chap. DO NOT DO THIS AT A CONCERT. It got to the point where my ears refused to hook onto anything but this guy’s whiny voice.

I had planned on only staying for part of Clan of Xymox’s set anyway since we had to drive 3+ hours home, and it was 10:30PM at that point so I figured that was my cue to call it. I wasn’t trying to get into verbal fisticuffs and ruin a perfectly good day. Because it really was a perfectly good day, all around.

This wasn’t from the Columbus show but I wanted to share it anyway because this is also how our Columbus show started and I was obsessed with laser gloves!!!!

And then this one was from our show:

On the drive home, I made Henry briefly listen to the Black Bible goth compilation (I have the physical copy as well and it’s out on display in the Cure corner of the living room – a nice conversation piece lol) until he was like, “OK I’ve had enough of this now, thanks.” It can get very funeral dirge-y, as you can imagine.

And then we arrived home a little after 2AM. It was exhausting but SO MUCH FUN. I’m glad that Henry still agrees to do these things with me. We definitely have some interesting adventures!

After our little coffee break at Casa Cacao, Henry found a place on High Street for dinner. It was just a made-to-order bowl place called Roots and I’m pretty sure it’s a chain, but it was fine. I didn’t want anything heavy or greasy and bowls are usually a safe bet for me. Love having a weak stomach.

The best part was that it was walkable – like 30 minutes or so, Henry said, but it felt longer than that. It was fine except that the first part of it, Henry was like LET’S GO THROUGH THIS RESIDENTIAL AREA INSTEAD except that it wasn’t just a “residential area”—it was freaking OSU student housing and, being Saturday, there were yard and porch parties happening all around us and I felt like such a old person strolling past it all.

It didn’t get any better once we turned onto High St. because that’s basically the main drag through campus and I guess there was some kind of sports game happening that day/evening because the kids were out in droves in their red shirts.

Dinner was very basic and uneventful, but it was fun to retell my Dracula’s Ball stories to Henry even though he has heard them so many times that he probably feels like he lived them in real time at this point. I was just really excited that I was going to be revisiting my goth roots later than evening!

After dinner, we started walking back to the neighborhood where Rumba Cafe is, and were trailed for a few blocks by the sound of chaotic slapping on the pavement behind us.

“What is behind us,” I whispered to Henry.

“Flip flops,” he muttered.

But turns out not only was it flip flops, but a drunk OSU boy in flip flops. He eventually passed us and we watched in awe as he narrowly escaped the jaws of death numerous times.

It felt like being back in Brookline, honestly, except the publicly intoxicated here have a few decades on co-eds and are all clad in black and gold.

We were full from our respective bowls but I was adamant upon stopping by Buckeye Doughnuts for a sweet treat on the way back. I always say i’M nOt A bIg DoNuT fAn but a classic glazed or sugar always sounds good to me.

Plus, this place wasn’t one of those hifalutin’ epicurean donut boutiques focused on exotic ingredients procured from roots of plants on the far ends of the earth. Just your basic old-fashioned, maple-glazed cruller and coffee joint that hasn’t been renovated (but hopefully cleaned) since the 70s.

We housed these down later – they were delightful.

We were still in the bustling section of High Street when the clouds turned a foreboding shade of gray up ahead. Henry suggested stopping to the CVS we were about to pass by for an umbrella “just in case” but I consulted my 50% accurate weather app which said NO RAIN. JUST CLOUDS.

“Ooooook,” Henry sighed in a “can’t wait to say I told you so” sing-song lilt.

And exactly one block later – rain. :)

Henry the Priss was way more concerned about it than me, even though he was wearing a hat. It was just a light mist and it went away pretty quickly. Nothing was going to ruin this day, you guys.

When we got back to the Rumba Cafe, it was still about 90 minutes before doors opened, so we decided to walk down the street to a cute little bar we had passed, figuring we could kill time there.

It was called the Ramble House and a quick Google search told Henry that it was a bluegrass bar. But it was only 5:30 so we figured there wouldn’t be any bands there yet.

Wrong! Apparently, there was an early show starting at 6PM and we had arrived at the same time as the two bands. The guy at the door — it was his first night, we know this because he told us approx. 4x — was super friendly so when he told us it was a $10 cover and Henry was like, “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO” because he always puts this shit on me which is why I’m chronically decision fatigued, I was like, “I don’t care, pay the man.” There didn’t seem to be anywhere else nearby and the main reason why we were walking everywhere was because it’s hard to get a parking spot at the Rumba Cafe but since we had arrived so early in the day, we got a prime spot on the street right in front of it. We didn’t want to lose it! And whatever, bluegrass is fine. I would survive.

Aside from a table of two men, we appeared to possibly be the only other non-band affiliated audience members. The door guy came over to us after we took our beers to a table and said, “Hey, I just talked to the boss lady and she said if you guys don’t feel like staying, you can have your cover charge back. I’m sorry, I didn’t know, it’s my first night working the door!”

Bro, he was SO EFFING NICE. And I wasn’t about to take money away from these bands. We knew we were going to be leaving during the first band’s set and that was bad enough! I hate just “walking out” in the middle of things like this especially when the place was so small with not many people there so there was no way to be inconspicuous about it. Ugh.

We enjoyed listening to these women soundcheck and were bummed when it turned out they were the second band that would be playing. :( I did find them on Instagram though and commented about how I was sad we couldn’t stay for their set and explained that we had only ended up there on a whim before a concert down the street. Me and my guilty conscience!!

And then, from their IG, I found out that their set also doubled as a going away party for one of the band members – I think she’s going to France? I forgot already! Anyway, it just kind of cracked me up a little that we randonly found ourselves in the midst of all this that night.

Someone’s kid did all of the artwork for the bar and this piece in particular really resonated me, particularly the banana. It unlocked an old music memory that had me spiraling out, trying to remember the name of the band that had an album cover with a banana on it AND NO NOT THE VELVET UNDERGROUND.

“They were in the same family as Blond Redhead and Xiu Xiu,” I said to Henry, barely caring as I frantically searched my phone for clues. “Back in my Pitchfork days….”

And then finally, I screamed DEERHOOF!! and Henry was like, “????”

(Relatedly, this also called to mind a song from another band that I lumped in with these agents of aural chaos back then, a song that my friend Alisha FUCKING HATED and I would always play it in her presence. I could hear like, 1/25th of a second of the song in my head, but couldn’t think of the band. Then, two days later, we were at home and apropos of nothing, I called out FIERY FURNACES!!! Henry was like HOW DO YOU DO THAT. I don’t know, man, my mind does what it wants. The song is “Single Again,” in case anyone has a burning thirst to know.)

The first band to go on was this bluegrass trio. Apparently, the guy in the middle is the only actual band member and the other two had to fill in for the other band members who couldn’t make it. The last name of the guy on the left is Kristofferson, and that fact is lodged into my brain like the HERE’S JOHNNY ax in a wooden door because I thought to myself, “Yes. He looks like a Kristofferson.”

Having a swell time at the bluegrass show!

Anyway, we had to leave halfway through the first band’s set in order to secure a place in line before doors opened at Rumba Cafe. We tried to slip out as quietly as possible but man, I felt so terrible. The last thing I want is for this band to see that and be like, “Wow, they hate us.”

:(

Exercise.

Go for a walk.

Watch kpop content on YouTube.

Watch an episode of whatever show we’re currently watching – tonight it was an episode of the Pitt and I am realizing that my enjoyment of this show was a flash in the pan because my interest wanes more and more with every episode and I am experiencing intense hate for almost every character at this point.

Relax with this cutie:

Plan one or two things to do over the weekend so I have something to look forward to!

If it was a VERY rough day, I might require a sugary treat.

We were really flying by the seat of our pants with this one. When I first bought the concert tickets, I was excited because it was on a Saturday and thought, “Oh, we can turn it into a weekend trip!” but then as it got closer, I was like, “Or we can just get there early, spend the day hanging out, and then drive back after the show.” And then it was the day before and I was like, “Fuck it, let’s just leave at noon, eat dinner there, go to the show and come home.” I just hate leaving Penelope, even for a full day or overnight, ever since Drew died. It seriously is the worst and I feel so guilty, and now she’s going through this extreme picky phase with her food so I feel like I spend most of the day offering her different things, hand-feeding her treats, it’s a whole thing. (Yes, she’s being actively checked out by the vet and we have an appetite stimulant for her now too. All of her bloodwork came back fine, it’s just that she lost 2 pounds since her visit last year and as of the beginning of the year has decided that she doesn’t like dry food anymore and will only eat wet food but only certain kinds and then when she finds one she likes and we buy more, she doesn’t like it anymore. It’s been a whole thing and while she is eating, drinking water, peeing and pooping like normal, the vet put me in panic mode.)

Well, that was a lot to say that I didn’t feel very inspired to leave super early and I didn’t do my usual cafe and vegan food investigation like I normally would when we roadtrip. Sigh.

But! On a happy note, it all worked out anyway. We decided to just drive to the venue and find a place to park, because it’s street parking or GTFT (get the fuck towed) in this area. We got super lucky and found a spot RIGHT OUTSIDE of the venue. It was only 3PM, too early for dinner, but there was a place called Caca Cacao that I saw right around the corner so without consulting Yelp for any alternatives, that is where we went. And it was amazing! Good people, good vibes, good drinks. Sorry to keep using the word “good,” but that’s just how it made me feel DEEP IN MY SOUL.

We ended up just sitting at the bar after we ordered. I didn’t realize at first that there was an outside patio—it was chilly and raining off and on that day, but there was a covered portion that looked cozy so I suggested that we just take our drinks out there once we got them. But then! One of the baristas commented on my Ouija planchette bracelet which inspired a lengthy convo about divination and spirits. I felt like a fraud a little bit for wearing that in the name of fashion when I have really only used an Ouija board maybe…twice? (My friend Evonne had a spirit board though and we used that several times over the years which was always goosebump-inducing.) So, I felt obligated to tell the barista that my mom was into that stuff when she was younger, and how my grandma blamed her Ouija board usage on the fire that legit burned down the house while my grandma was in Florida.

It actually turned out to be an electrical fire caused by a record player that someone left on. No one was hurt and then the house was rebuilt into the 116 Gillcrest that was my refuge and sanctuary growing up (wow, two references to Gillcrest in back-to-back weekend recaps, it must be heavy on my subconscious).

I also told her about how ALLEGEDLY one time my mom was driving at night—this was also during her Ouija days—and said that it felt like something was yanking the steering wheel in the opposite direction and she either DID wreck or she ALMOST wrecked. I can’t remember now how the story went but I know I was scared when she told me, but not too scared that I didn’t actively try to summon Satan for a large swathe of time when I was in high school because I wanted to be taken, LOL I was such a living, breathing After School Special, it wasn’t even funny. (I was trying to think of when this would have been but it could have been anywhere between 10th and 12th grade, honestly, I was such a psychotic case study.)

Then we were talking about being from Pgh and she was telling us about her friend who is something of a famous busker there. “He wears a mushroom hat and raps,” she said, but the only person I could picture was Downtown Jesus and thank god that’s not who she was referring to. Anyway, he’s supposed to be performing at some Draft-related event happening here and then today, he came up in a video in Henry’s feed. “He’s the Guinness secord holder for longest freestyle rap,” Henry said, “50 hours!”

I got a Froot Loops matcha latte and it was delectable and also, we ended up just staying at the bar since it was such a friendly and safe space!

And thank god we stayed because when the other barista came over to get Henry’s payment, there was about 3 seconds of silence while he was struggling to tap his card, and suddenly she goes, “You have really great hair.”

To me!!

She said that TO ME!

You have no idea how annoyed and self-conscious I am about my hair in this shitty stage of life, and for someone to tell me that it’s GREAT?? I almost cried.

“Your tattoos and rings are really cool, too,” she continued. “You’re just cool in general!” she added. And then to Henry, “And you’re cool for being with her!”

I was like, “OK is there a camera somewhere? Is this real? Did my therapist set this up to give me a self-esteem boost so she can have one session with me where I’m not like, “I’m just an NPC. Wah.”

And then I felt tongue-tied because I wanted to return the compliments but everything that ran through my mind seemed like it would be weird to say, like, “I love the shape of your face!” which is what I was thinking before this even happened because she had that perfectly adorable heart-shaped face and a blunt chin-length cut that looked perfect on her. But when I say things nice things to other women, it always ends up coming off as either lowkey sexual harassment or borderline boundary-crossing because something happens to my words on their way down the chute from my brain to my mouth where it’s like, “Wait did I just sound like I was coming on to that person?”

Anyway…

Then Henry was looking at the menu again and asked her what kava is because there was a whole section for it. It turned into a whole thing, like an actual history lesson, and it was so informative and interesting! Basically, it’s a non-alcoholic liquid made from the root of some type of pepper-like plant or something that relaxes the body, and recovering alcoholics will actually drink it because it gives you the same sensation without putting actual alcohol in your body.

Then she gave us a free shot of it to try!

It tasted unlike ANYTHING I had ever tried before. Very…earthy and dirty. Muddy. Not the most pleasant thing but I was able to finish the shot without needing to dramatically spit it out or anything! And after awhile it leaves a slight numbing sensation on the tongue. Super intriguing, and there are actual drinks that they make with it there so maybe next time we visit, I will bit the bullet and try something fancy.

They also have kind of simple syrup made with a plant that I have never heard of and both baristas were trying to explain it to a man seated next to me. They finally settled on it having a slight “date” taste and then they let him try a spoonful of it and he agreed and said it was delicious so now I definitely have to go back and try a drink with that syrup too!

That place was just way too cool. And also very calming. As we were getting up to leave, I called out “goodbye!” down the bar to them, and the heart-face girl was all, “Have fun tonight, guys!” and it felt so nice, like we were regulars there instead of legit strangers passing through from Pittsburgh. I wish more places were like that. I always say that I hate small talk but I DIDN’T USED TO. I used to know someone everywhere I went back in the day, from gas stations, diners, pool halls…now the only people I “know” are the other daily walkers and joggers in Brookline who give me head nods and half-waves every time we pass each other.

What a great start to our short time in Columbus! After this, we walked to a place on High Street for a quick dinner, but I will save that for the next post because the Penguins are losing their second playoff game in a row and I am too stressed and angry to give this blog my full attention UGH.

Ok I guess I am officially in that older person stage of life because I am fucking SPENT today. Henry and I went to Columbus yesterday for a concert and got home around 2:00AM. We’re both super feeling it today and slept until 9 which RARELY happens unless one of us is sick. It was absolutely worth it because we had the best time – I feel like so much happened in the short time we were in Columbus and the amount of small talk I engaged in probably is adding to my overall exhaustion today.

I have lots I want to recap but for today, I’m content just going on slow walks, watching YouTube and admiring the way the faux stained glass makes our bathroom look. It’s so peaceful and I need that!

I have to go to bed early tonight (should NOT be a problem) so that I can wake up at 1:30AM and watch the livestream of BIGBANG’s Coachella weekend 2 performance so everyone should just avoid me tomorrow lol.

Anyway, that has been my weekend update.

I haven’t whipped out a Friday Five like a flaccid penis in a hot minute, so let’s look at some things that I have been expressing mild-to-manic interest in these days, I guess?

1. The LAGUNA BEACH reunion special

Bro. If you know me, you know that tears were springing forth at just the PREVIEW of this show. At just the ANNOUNCEMENT of it. I watched both seasons in real time back in the day (and The Hills!) and have since rewatched both seasons in its entirety and most of The Hills. I did try to watch The Hills reboot a few years ago, which inexplicably featured Micha Barton, but it just didn’t hit the same without Lauren Conrad.

I was Team LC all the way and even now, her LC brand jeans at Kohls are the ONLY jeans I will wear. If she ever stops making them (LOL picturing her in a Laguna sweatshop hand stitching denim) I’ll be cooked. Leggings forever at that point, probably.

And back then, I absolutely hated Kristin Cavallari but over the years, I have really grown to love and appreciate her realness. Watching her and LC squashing the beef (which was perpetuated by MTV, obviously) has been so healing on so many levels?! Henry watched the whole thing with me (yes, he watched all the OG episodes too lol) and was not surprised at all by how hard I was sobbing. It was one of the realest “reality reunion” specials I have ever seen – no fighting, no drama. These people are legitimately friends with each other and the respect they have for each other is so obvious and in some strange way, because everything is on fire, this gave me the tiniest bit of hope for humanity.

2. GOING CRAZY!!!

In the midst of all the “Mark Lee leaving NCT” chaos 2 weeks ago, T.O.P., formerly of BIGBANG :(, released his FIRST NEW MUSIC in over 10 years! It’s probably not a big deal to anyone reading this but bro went THROUGH it. But then he was season 2 of Squid Game, much to the dismay of netizens who wanted him to have no place in the entertainment industry after his (god forbid) marijauna “scandal” in 2017, but it helped put him back out there AND gain Western fans.

Anyway, his album slaps even if it does feel bittersweet with myriad references to BIGBANG being his past. G-Dragon really tried to get him to come back to them but he won’t do it and I respect that but I’m not going to pretend like I’m happy about it!

This video came out last week, and co-stars Nana from After School, and it has been playing on repeat in my head ever since. I sporadically yell 완전미쳤어! to Penelope and the squirrels throughout the day. They respond with an annoyed 아이씨.

I love the video itself too – Nana is perfect in it, and it gives 1960s psychedelic/gonzo film vibes. Blue Sunshine comes to mind specifically. And obviously the Tarantino nods. I also saw an old picture of Bowie wearing a similar back and white suit so this video is just poppin’ off with references. It’s so cinematic!

3. PinkPantheress Appreciation 

OK look I can be pretty out of touch with new music that’s not from, you know, Korea, but I have known about PinkPantheress for the last 5 or so years but only in the context of her being a Kpop stan. At first I was like WHO IS THIS PERSON, WHY IS SHE SIMPING FOR HAECHAN and Chooch was all “Ugh all around the town” because he knew who she was and didn’t like her. Chooch doesn’t like most things, though, so this meant nothing.

However, instead of being annoyed now whenever she pops up in interviews gushing about NCT or whatever, it started to feel kind of cool that she was doing this, and also genuine? Like, she was really trying to put people on to her favorite Kpop groups and that was kind of charming.

Then this morning, I saw a clip on Instagram of her doing some podcast or something, where she was talking about her love for MCR, and how whenever she tried to get people to like MCR, she makes them listen to Early Sunsets over Monroeville, which is from their first album that no one talks about hardly ever but that I loved back when it actually first came out in the early 00s. Anyway, not only did she shout out that song, but the way she spoke about it so passionately, I was like, “OK, this person is a legit music lover” and it really made me see her in a different light. I still have not listened to any of her music but maybe this is my sign to do so!?

I think also I’m just mellowing out so much in my older age that I don’t care anymore about rejecting “sell-out” music or avoiding mainstream “normal” music. I like what I like, and it’s all over the place! But for instance, I used to always sneer at people who liked Justin Bieber back during his “Baby” era. I like, couldn’t comprehend that this child had become a huge pop star because of YouTube. It seemed so inauthentic at the time. And while I am FAR from a Belieber even still, I have liked a lot of his songs over the years and, what that guy has been put through…it brings out a different level of respect, I guess. I was actually really annoyed at some of my friends who were saying things like “How is Bieber headlining Coachella over the Strokes?” and it’s like, how out of touch are you. It’s Justin fucking Bieber. Even I know that’s a bigger deal than the Strokes, whom I forgot even existed. (I said it.) This is either growth or regression, I can’t figure it out. Most people my age are more jaded than ever and I’m over here in the “can’t beat ’em, join ’em” sandbox.

(I still absolutely, openly, and vocally cannot stand Taylor Swift though. Now THAT is an over-hyped bullshit artist, IMHO.)

4. Sighisoara <3

I had one of my Diana photos from Romania printed and framed and I am so smitten with it. It’s from Sighisoara – I miss that cutesie town!

5. GDAE at the DODGERS GAME

G-Dragon and Daesung were at the Dodgers game the other day! It was all over my Instagram and then as soon as I logged on to work the next morning, Nate sent me a picture of it – he is a huge Dodgers fan so our worlds had collided!

I’m just so happy that they’re getting to do fun things while they’re here!

I was thinking, “Wow, GD is dressed so casually for once!” And then I saw this, LOL:

Ugh, I’m so obsessed with him.

Well, that’s all I’ve got. Aside from going to the mall to pick up sunglasses at the Vans store and buy kawaii journals because I’m back in my journaling era, I didn’t do much this week other than work and exercise. But tomorrow we’re going to Columbus for a concert!

After our afternoon getting music boxed at the Bayernhof, we reconvened at the nearby Starlite Lounge in Blawnox. Henry and I had never been there before, but Shawn and Jess were there once for dinner and said it was completely dead on that day, so they were surprised to see that this place was poppin’ off at 5pm.

Turns out, there was some local music festival going on called Punkapalooza, and the Starlite was one of the venues.

It was a super lively atmosphere, and I was THERE FOR IT. Especially when some man ran up to us as soon as we walked in and asked for our IDs. I was like, “Oh! Ok…” because that never happens anymore  (obviously).  I started to root around for my wallet and goes, “I’m just messing with yinz! I don’t even work here.”

YEP. I had a feeling I was going to love it there!

They’re apparently known for their world famous pierogies, so I was stoked to try that and also get a GRILLED CHEESE, which I have not had in way too long, now that I think about it. Maybe Henry and I need to start doing our weekend diner dates again.

Our server was this young girl with blond braids and piercings who was pleasant enough but also just the amount of “don’t piss me off” to be employed at a dive bar. She reminded me of Tara Yummy’s friend Sophia and if this means nothing to you it’s because you probably have age-appropriate interests and aren’t subscribed to a bunch of young LA vloggers on YouTuber. I waited until after we left to mention this to Henry because I didn’t feel like explaining the whole thing to Shawn and Jess – I always get so in the weeds when explaining who obscure people are that I’m talking about that half the time I end up on a completely tangent and never do circle back to the person in question. Like, spit it out, Erin. It’s not that deep and also: no one cares.

I’m a terrible storyteller.

Speaking of the server, though: Shawn ordered a Screwdriver with Titos (and also Confidence^TM ) and I guess it was just because it was 5PM at this little dive bar filling up with hippies (we were very confused when punks started dressing like hippies but Starlite was swathed in tie dye) that the idea of ordering a Screwdriver made me crack up.

The server looked up from her order pad. “Ok. I’ll have to make sure they have the stuff for that,” she said in the underwhelmed tone of a certain generation.

“I wanted to get a Screwdriver in honor of Chuck,” Shawn mumbled, like he felt an explanation was in order. I thought that was a great idea but Henry and I had already ordered beer. :/

When she came back with the rest of our drinks, she relayed to Shawn that THEY DIDN’T HAVE ORANGE JUICE AND SOMEONE HAD TO GO OUT TO GET IT. Shawn very quickly tried to recall his order but it was too late, some poor go-fer was already sent on Shawn’s screwdriver side quest.

Obviously we all felt bad about this but I couldn’t stop laughing because this is usually the shit that happens to me, accidentally ordering things that put me in the hot seat.

Meanwhile, I made Henry order the Polish platter so he could share the pierogi and haluski with me.

“You can have the sausage, though,” I said diplomatically.

“Wow, thanks,” he muttered, because I guess this is one of the few annoying things I do – tell him what he’s going to order so that it can benefit me.

About a half hour later, Shawn stopped our server and very nervously asked, “I hate to bother you, but….screwdriver?”

“She hasn’t come back yet,” she said, and we were like BITING OUR FISTS IN SECONDHAND ANGUISH OVER THIS.

And then Henry, King of Local Grocery Stores, started running through his mental Rolodex of nearby stores where this person likely could have gone, unable to understand why this OJ acquisition was taking so long.

But then – Screwdriver! Shawn was basically to the point where he was going to present his back to the server for some flagellation.

After his first sip, we asked him if it was worth it and he said he didn’t know because he had never had one before! OH, I WAS HOWLING.

Meanwhile, our food was so good! An older woman was in charge of checking the Punkapalooza goers at the door helped serve our food and Shawn asked, “Are you the one who got the orange juice?”

SHE WAS.

He was several seconds away from throwing himself at her feet, I think, totally groveling, but she was just laughing about it and said it was no big deal. But it was to us! It didn’t even happen to me but I will always think fondly of the Starlite now because of this. What nice people!

Um, and the pierogi? FUCK ME IN THE MOUTH, HOT BOIS. I think it might actually have been the best pierogi I’ve had in this city. Just a classic potato pierogi but it was absolute perfection. Moist on the inside and chewy on the outside with just the right amount of crisp around the edge. Yes. Oh yes.

And the haluski!! Also some of the best I’ve ever had. I’d love to be able to compare it to the haluski that I bought probably 20 years ago from a lady and her young daughter going door-to-door but I WOULDN’T KNOW BECAUSE THEY NEVER CAME BACK WITH IT. One of the many times I’ve been scammed.

Coleslaw – bangin’.

Grilled cheese – they forgot my tomato but it was otherwise very classic and satisfying. I know it seems like grilled cheese is an easy order but you’d be surprised (or maybe not) at how many bad g’cheeses I’ve had.

Shawn ended up getting a second Screwdriver because he felt like he had to at that point. Meanwhile, we ended up totally overstaying our welcome (no one made us feel pressured to leave though!) and chilled in that booth for HOURS after our plates were cleared. It was 9PM by the time we finally called it a night and it honestly felt like old times – hanging out in a dive bar with good friends and talking until I started to lose my voice. Yes, more of this please!!!

We really were perplexed at how different the punk scene had become these days. Like, why did everyone look like Dead Heads, you know? So I finally decided to google “punkapalooza” and realized that it was actually spelled “pUNKapalooza” – not sure what the significance of the capital letters is, but it’s billed as Blawnox’s annual JAM BAND FESTIVAL.

THAT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE.