“What kind of bands are these, now?” Henry deigned to ask when we were on our way to Mr. Roboto for that night’s Casa San Jose fundraiser show. It’s almost like he’s  afraid to ask so he just waits until the last possible minute.

I was only able to find stuff from 90 Seconds til Midnight and The Give & Take online, but I liked what I heard and knew that Henry wouldn’t object to any of it once it started. But, Brenda…when we got there, one of the bands was sound-checking to an empty room. It was 7:30 at that point.

And it was just us and the sound guy in there. We sat down on a bench against the wall and I immediately felt so awkward. But then another person arrived!

And it turns out he was the friend/photographer of the first performer and would end up leaving right after that. But it was still nice to have someone sitting next to us so we looked less fish out of water.

Eventually, 4 girls and a guy came from the back of the venue so I was like, “Oh thank god, people were just chilling out there until now,” and felt less cooked. UNTIL I QUICKLY REALIZED THAT THEY WERE ALL FRIENDS / GIRLFRIENDS OF 90 SECONDS TIL MIDNIGHT.

It was almost 8pm at this point and nothing was happening except for the band fucking around on stage and getting photos taken. So I joined in with the photo taking session.

“Where are the other people?” Henry hissed uncomfortably.

This was around the point where I admitted to Henry that when the ticket guy was checking us off the list, I glanced at what appeared to be only 4 names on it but I didn’t want to say anything because THIS HAD JUST HAPPENED TO US earlier that week at another event — why do I keep choosing these random events that no one knows about?!

Really definitely 100% positively not fitting in at all but still being so happy to be there LOL. (Well, one of us was happy to be there. Henry is wearing his, “Why do you keep doing this to me?” face.)

Henry being like, “WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS THAT WE’RE HERE FOR AGAIN?”

Soundcheck photoshoot.

My aunt Susie also loves shelties and had two of them when I was a teenage: Coco and Pebbles! She had Coco first and when she got the second one and asked for name suggestions, I said, “Pebbles!” and was only moderately joking, but she liked it and kept it! And that has been the story about my aunt and her Shelties.

Eventually, The Give and Take arrived and mentioned something about car issues. I really enjoyed their set, but it was just me, 90 Seconds + their entourage, and the Give and Take’s photographer that were standing in front of the stage. Henry was like, “I’mma stay sat for this” and there were two youngish girls also sitting down as well. Plus some tall random guy who was giving me The Crow vibes kind of but in a 2026 sense. I can’t explain it.

After The Give & Take, the Crow guy got on stage!!! I had no idea he was one of the performers.

Um…

I don’t know what to say about his set aside from that it was pretty uncomfortable to watch. He rode the backing track like a life boat through the entirety of the first song and then afterward said his live vocals don’t do it justice. I was fighting for my life to hold it together, Steve. There was no one blocking me from his sight—it was still just me, the other band and their small entourage.

I was trying not to film or take pictures of him because I could feel the girlfriends of the other band side-eying me, not in a catty way, but like they were genuinely wondering why I was there. Like, “someone bought tickets to this show, holy shit?!” and I didn’t want it to look like I was making fun of this guy who they were all clearly bros with. He seemed troubled, to say the least, and after the first song, he launched into a 4 minute monologue about how he suddenly fell ill last summer out of nowhere, flu-like symptoms, bad headaches, no one could figure it out.

Eventually, he found out he had Lyme disease and now part of his face is partially paralyzed.

Afterward, Henry was like, “Who was that story for, if everyone else there knew him? Was that story just for us?!”

Maybe?!

Then he said he has been compared to MGK but that he doesn’t need to copy him or anyone else because he’s 24 and has “lived a life.”

Oh Francis, I was screaming on the inside. I had to grab my sides with curled fingers because sometimes inflicting pain upon myself is the only way to curb the chuckles. It was like being in church again.

I just filmed a short snippet but honestly, props for this guy for having it in him to get up there on a stage and he did have some good beats. It just wasn’t for me, no hate.

Henry remained seated during this set and was actually hunched forward with his head in his hands for most of it but he sat up as soon as I snapped this. There was one teenage girl remaining and she was also sitting in the same position. I think she left before it was over though.

The one nice thing about the evening was that each band got on stage immediately after the last one so there was little to no down time. Whoever the next band was on the flyer, they weren’t there that night, so after Skyrah was done doing the mashed potato on stage, 90 Seconds Til Midnight came on. You guys, I liked them! They were energetic and fun. They had some covers but their original songs were what I liked the most.

Henry actually stood with me for this, amazing, what energy, give this guy a participation trophy.

In between songs, the singer goes, “I know pretty much everyone in this room. I know you, and you, and you….I don’t know YOU guys though, nice to meet you.”

So I WAVED TO HIM AND YELLED, “Hello!” like a FUCKING SOCCER MOM WAVING TO HER KID ON THE FIELD I AM SUCH A FUCKING DORK.

And when that happened, EVERYONE TURNED AND LOOKED AT US. It was so embarrassing but also one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me at a show and I was squealing, trying to keep it together. It was all I could do not to immediately text Chooch and tell him. (Don’t worry, I spammed the fuck out him afterward and he was like WTF WHERE EVEN WERE YOU.

Like, “why can’t you just stay home and knit like other moms!?” Lol!

I sincerely can’t remember the last time I felt this much of a DORK ALERT at a show or anywhere in public for that matter. I mean, I was wearing jeans and an old t-shirt from my brother Ryan’s pee wee soccer team (yes, I stuff myself into Youth t-shirts, is that a crime) yet somehow I felt like I looked to them like I had just popped in on the way to go grocery shopping. I could have been the mom to pretty much anyone there that night except for the first singer who said he was in his 40s (BRO, WHAT’S UP!) and the soundguy.

“I COULD HAVE BEEN THEIR GRANDFATHER!” Henry cried, but honestly I don’t think these people were that much older than Chooch, calm down, Henry.

“Go to local shows,” they said. “Support local music,” they said.

I genuinely enjoyed them, though, and would like to come out and support them again but maybe I will try to bring like 10 people with me!?

Also, I was glad to be supporting Casa San Jose because FUCK ICE FOREVER. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND HIS REGIME. FUCK FASCISM TIL THE END OF TIME.

Anyway. We bolted out of there as soon as it was over. Part of me wanted to stick around and say hello or whatever, but I was so giddy and also suffocating from the awkwardness of it all, that I think we both wanted to just get the fuck outside. And once we were on the sidewalk, we started cracking up.

“Jesus Christ, Erin!” Henry laughed. “Why do you keep putting us in these situations??”

I’ll tell you, I hate a crowd as much as the next antisocial person, but there is something even worse about being one of the ONLY people in a crowd at a performance, because it’s almost like YOU are the one being observed. When there are only like 5 or 8 people standing there, the eyes are going to land on you at some point, ESPECIALLY when you’re the only one that the people on stage DON’T KNOW.

I actually felt like I was under a spotlight and it was exhausting. Like, I was hyper aware of my facial muscles – was I doing resting bitch face? Did I look critical? Were they worried I wasn’t enjoying it? So instead, I overcorrected and I think I looked like I was auditioning for the next installment of SMILE.

What’s even funnier to me is that usually when something like this happens, you’re not noticed at all, you know? You’re just a blurry face in the crowd so you might walk away with some funny memory of something that the rest of the people there had no idea was happening. But in our case, while we might reminisce about this years later, like, “Remember that one time we looked like NARCs at that Roboto show?” the band might also have their own side of it that comes up someday, like, “Remember when those random parents showed up at our show for no reason and no one knew who they were?!”

I don’t know, it feels less funny now that I’m typing it out but Henry and I fucking laughed about it for days afterward. I never thought I would find myself in a more awkward concert situation than the Kurt Travis house show but this one was EXCRUCIATING. Hilarious (and with mostly good music) but so painful. If it hadn’t been for the the pre-show beer lubricating my nerves, I think I might have left. Glad I didn’t though! Even when Henry was shooting, “I hate you” daggers at me from his eyes, lol.

The next one is this Saturday and hopefully there are more people there, pray for us.

In case anyone missed the memo, I am obsessed with the Glitterbox and need little to no reason to attend events there. I am trying not to be SO OVERZEALOUS that I cause apprehension from the staff though. But when I saw that there was a SLEAZY FEMME FILM FEST featuring SANDY LOAF of Smoker’s Lounge fame, I sent the event details to Henry with “!!!!” Ofc he said, “ok whatever you want to do” because I rule the roost and he is but my servant.

Chooch was actually home this weekend for the Dominic Fike concert and was so annoyed that he and his friend Ben had to take the T there because mommy and daddy needed the car for their sleazy date night haha. I think he is lowkey also annoyed at the swerve our lives have taken since he moved out. Like, we’re way cooler than him now.

First, we wanted to get dinner and drinks at Golden Age but it was PACKED since it was storming so the outdoor seating was flooded. So we settled on Duke’s which was whatever.

I was in a bad mood immediately because the hostess was the epitome of “blank” and discarded us at an awkward table so I immediately was like fuck this we’re sitting at the bar. Then I was annoyed because 95% of their draft list was IPAs and I am so sick of IPAs. I ordered one anyway only because the name was Pernicious and that’s what I used to call Marcy. :(

Then!! Come to find out (I hate when people say that btw) that the idiot hostess gave us an OLD MENU and the current one had Oktoberfests and brown ales on it!!! The bartender (who I couldn’t tell if she hated us or what but I swear I caught her scowling at me several times) was like, “I’ll give her a pass because she’s only 16—she doesn’t know.”

She…doesn’t know how to read a date on the menu? Got it.

The one nice thing about the bartender was that she did warn us not to engage with the old man near us at the bar and that he was the reason another couple bolted. Luckily Henry is so naturally standoffish that was had nothing to worry about and the man eventually left and walked in the middle of traffic so…

I will say that the pizza we got was exceptional and it was fun watching some international little league game on TV while talking about BIGBANG.

But then it was time to go to the Glitterbox right down the street and I was immediately SO CONTENT. I can’t stress how much I love this place. It is so special. So inclusive. So quirky and cozy.

This show had a pretty robust turnout too, much like Sandy Loaf’s Smoker’s Lounge! This show was in collaboration with Pittsburgh Sound and Image:

From the Pgh Sound + Image website:

Filmmaker and curator Maren Moreno graces Pittsburgh with a new Sleazy Femme Film Festival. Are you a first-timer? Well, it does exactly what it says on the tin. It’s sleazy, it’s femme, it’s film, it’s festive! And it’s the only place you’ll find this all-star lineup of DIY powerhouses:

-A rough cut of Maren’s new lezzy erotic film FILTH EATER, with live score by Frogonbough/Ava Lowry/Maze Phillips

-SANDY LOAF and NASTY TAXI present a singular array of vignettes, with live score by Bella Figlia

-And we’ll close it out with a 16mm print of Heather McAdams’s experimental doc of a Kentucky drag queen, Meet…Bradley Harrison Picklesimer

Join us Saturday, August 22nd. Doors at 7:30, show starts at 8:00.

Meet…Bradley Harrison Picklesimer preserved by Chicago Film Society through the National Film Preservation Foundation’s Avant-Garde Masters program and The Film Foundation. Funding provided by the Hobson/Lucas Family Foundation.

I think this might have been after Anna walked by, recognized us, and said, “Oh hi guys!” and I was like smiling so hard after that, I could NOT get my face to relax, I was frozen in this big-cheese manic visage that Henry was like, “JFC.”

OMG this is my favorite Glitterbox person! I always call him “the Kurt Travis guy” because I don’t know his name but he reminds me of Kurt Travis (duh). He wasn’t at the last event we attended so I was excited to see him running around making sure everything was set up.

Henry was originally lowkey uncomfortable about attending this, being a straight white guy at the sleazy lezzy film show, and I was joking about, “Hi everyone, I’m here and I brought my incel” but he quickly realized that, like every other event we’ve attended there, no one cared, no one gave him a side-eye, he was just another patron of queer art.

Anyway, a quick recap:

• the first short silent film was called Filth Eater by Maren Moreno. It was incredible and had a three-piece orchestra set up behind us, performing a live score. It was intense, explicit, erotic, and uncomfortably intimate at times,  but had some moments of levity that had us all cracking up.
• then it was Sandy Loaf’s short film called Imaginary Boyfriends which was like an offshoot of Smokers Lounge—creepy and nightmare-inducing! This one had a live score performed on the side of the stage by Bella Figlia. Sandy Loaf also brought one of the masks and babydolls with her, which were chilling on the sides of the stage all night, judging us.
• the finale was Heather McAdam’s short  doc from the 80s about the drag queen Bradley Harrison Picklesimer. IT WAS SO GOOD. It is purposely not available anywhere online, to stream, etc., because Heather insists that it only be viewed in its original 16mm and I love her for this because it was so visually pleasing in this format. It felt extra special and like a treat to get to see this that night. Some parts of it had the whole theater LOLing loudly – what a character!

All of the artists post-screening. These people are so cool and talented!

I love these events so much because it gives Henry and I so much to unpack and discuss. We drive home and just dissect everything we’ve seen and it just feels so bonding. I am desperate to take Chooch to something here when he’s home on his next break!

Last Friday, Henry and I had a show to go to at Mr. Roboto Project. It was a local show with some bands I didn’t know at all so I wasn’t pressed to get there when doors opened. I suggested instead that we kill time at Two Frays across the street, mainly so I could collect another stamp.

It was a pretty nice evening so the outdoor patio was poppin’ off. I opted to sit inside because I didn’t want to drain my social battery. I started with a sour and immediately swapped it for Henry’s IPA. I don’t what I was thinking! Me and sours just don’t mix these days. It started off good – nice and peachy – but then that bland sour taste overpowered all of the good tastes.

We had another hour or so to kill so I thought I could handle a second beer. I could not. I drank maybe 1/5 of whatever this was and then slid it across the table for Henry to finish.  He had gotten one of their NA beers for his second one and it was really good so I just stole some sips from that.

Lookin’ haggard! I finally got my hair done on Thursday and feel like a brand new woman so this picture is making me appreciate the time (and money) spent at the salon even more.

The wallpaper in the bathroom was cute even though I am averse to bicycles. (It’s a crotch-feel thing. No hate to all of my bicyclist friends out there. It’s just not for me and hasn’t been since I was in elementary school and had cool glow-in-the-dark beads on the spokes of my pastel purple bike from Toys R Us.)

Oh wow, look at that, Charmera was with me!

Henry counting my stamps because I got bored and lost track after three pages.

The bartender was nice. It was good vibes here and they had That’s So Raven playing on the TV which was fucking cute.

Now that I just saw the menu board up there, I remember that this was Together Better which is a Kolsch or something. I did like it but I just CANNOT drink that much. It doesn’t fit! I should have gotten this as my first beer and quit while I was ahead.

While we were chilling there, Henry was facing the door and said that a bunch of kids kept walking past toward Roboto. I was mentally prepping myself for a packed room and feeling glad that we decided to pregame because sometimes my nerves do be nervin’. Especially considering I bought these tickets without knowing anything about the bands, just that it was a fundraiser for Case San Jose. But this was part of my EMPTY NEST WON’T KILL ME self-appointed therapy challenge. MORE TO COME on that, lol.

This apparently has been an all coasters, clown, and concerts content blog this summer and I’m sure that’s annoying to some people but we have been having the best time and, KNOCK ON WOOD, but I feel like I am finally starting to be myself again. LAST NIGHT I EVEN WENT AND GOT MY HAIR HIGHLIGHTED. Do you know when the last time I went to a salon was?? It was October 2023 – two days before the Afghan family moved next door, knocking over the first domino is a series of stressful events that included Barb dying, Drew dying, Chooch going to college + insane financial aid fuck-ups that literally had me aging into a sea hag seemingly overnight.

But this summer, I have let myself have fun again and it has been nice but there’s also that scary nagging feeling in the back of my mind, warning me not to get too cozy because who even knows how long it will last.

Anyway! All of this is to say that Henry and I have been living the lives of 20-year-olds all summer and it has been so much fun (and exhausting, admittedly). Let’s talk about that while looking at pictures from our last weeknight trip to Kennywood on Monday (the final weeknight of operations for the season — HATE that summer is coming to a close!).

When I started going to therapy, we talked about how finding a new hobby could help me during this empty nest transition. My therapist said it could be a good chance for me to finally start doing the things I couldn’t do when I was being a mom. But I never stopped doing the things I liked to do just because I had a kid. I’m not saying I put myself first! But I was always of the belief that a woman could have a kid and still maintain her own identity. So, I still went to concerts. I still went out to dinner with friends. I did art (I don’t anymore, but that’s not because of mom obligations).

I couldn’t think of ANYTHING “new” that I wanted to do. Anything I had been putting off trying. And I kept getting more and more depressed. Logging off from work and moving from my work desk to the couch, night after night. Then we had a series of events to go to around February and it kind of added life back into me. Forced me to get dressed and leave the house. So then I started thinking that perhaps the key is to just plan one work night a week to go out and do something because not only does it break up the week, it gives me something to look forward to when all I do is stare at engagement letters all day long.

But the best part of that is that we have accidentally found new interests in doing so! Because if there weren’t any bands that I liked coming to town in the near future, I started going directly to venue websites and clicked around on events pages, looked up bands I hadn’t heard of and if I liked them enough, we’d add that event to the list.

Same with movies/film/theater.

If it hadn’t been for this motivation, we never would have become Glitterbox fans!

After work Kennywood dates have been part of why this summer has been so much fun, too! Look at this cutie shot of my forever favorite, Phantom’s Revenge! God I would love to have a birthday party where we just marathon the shit out of this thing. WE COULD ALL WEAR MATCHING SHIRTS. I’ll come  up with something embarrassing for all, don’t worry.

(Look at me planning a pretend party in my peabrain.)

^^THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME ON THE PHANTOM!!

This view never gets old.

(Also, as I’m writing this, I just found out that Chooch got the co-op he wanted! It’s doing something with the UPenn football team. I don’t know but he’s very stoked and it’s the only co-op he had set his sights on for this year.)

(He applied to others, of course, but this was the one he wanted.)

I have good NEIGHBORHOOD NEWS to report for once!! Domestic Abuser a/k/a Landlord’s Son moved out!!! A really nice (so far) Filipino family has since moved in and they are a breath of fresh air. The mom has spruced up the front yard and is giving the Squirrel Hating Wife of HNC some competition in the green thumb arena! They have festive string lights up on their porch and the cutest t-shirt-wearing Chow!

I overheard HNC telling the mom all of his house-related woes, like how the kitchen ceiling leaks when it rains and the landlord won’t fix this and that and she was probably thinking, “Great, thanks for telling me this NOW.”

Henry said he couldn’t remember the last time he rode the Swings!? There was a young guy named JT who was manning the ride when we went on and I liked him because he asked, “IF YOU’RE HAVING FUN CAN I GET A WEEEEE” and you better believe I WEEEEE’d my face off.

We sat here and had a cookie break. This time I didn’t play games and got a chocolate chip cookie for myself. I was in a much better mood this time around!

I made Henry ride the cars with me and I waved to all of the kids we passed. I got snubbed once but I think they felt bad so they initiated a wave the second time we passed each other. “Happy now?” Henry muttered from the BACKSEAT.

Yes, actually.

The sky was doing some adorable things on this evening. It was so pretty but it was also making me sad because it was really feeling like it was out last Kennywood trip of the season even though we will probably try to sneak in a Sunday visit here and there. There’s just something so fun about going on a work night. It’s like, what are you doing at an amusement park on a random Monday night, don’t you have adulting to do??

Actually…no.

I can’t remember the last time I stood in an actual line for Thunderbolt. It’s always like this when we go!

OMG we were in line for the Turtles with the sweetest lady who was so stoked about everything at Kennywood. When we were in line, she kept asking me, Henry, and the young couple in front of her if we rode the Thunderbolt, the Old Mill, etc. She was very adamant about finding somewhere to get popcorn too and you know what? In all the years I’ve been going to Kennywood (i.e. MY WHOLE LIFE), I don’t think I have ever gotten popcorn there and actually couldn’t help her out with that inquiry! Somehow it came up that the guy in front of her is a cook at Jergel’s and I wanted to be like, “THAT’S WHERE I GOT THE SHIRT I’M WEARING, AT KURT TRAVIS’S SOLO SHOW THERE LAST SUMMER!” and Henry was like, “Damn, we should have asked him if he was there the night we had to evacuate when they smelled gas!”

Then all 5 of us were assigned to the same Turtle which was kind of awkward and uncomfortable and everyone avoided eye contact except for the Happy Lady who was “wooo!”ing and chuckling through the whole ride, living her best life. It was really sweet.

When the best ride in the park is a walk-on….

As I’m typing this, Chooch is on the train back to Pittsburgh with one of his Drexel friends! They’re going to the Dominic Fike show tomorrow night and staying at Chooch’s friend’s house (his friend Daniel’s parents moved to California after they graduated high school and gave the house to Daniel, who lives there with some friends who are all attending Pitt. WHAT A FREAKING DEAL!! Anyway, why would you choose to stay at your parent’s house with your college friend when you could stay at a parent-less Pitt house? I get it.

(I’m making him come here for a little bit though because I have been telling Penelope he’s coming home so he needs to see her!!!)

I just hate so much how quickly this summer has flown by. I still have one more park to recap from my birthday weekend and that was three weeks ago already!! On my walk this morning, I saw kids walking to school and it made me say “UGH” out loud. It’s just never long enough, especially when fall always feels like it’s only a week long and then WINTER.

Don’t think about it, Erin.

OK that’s mean—Adventureland wasn’t THAT bad but it was really small with very little to do. I don’t know why I had been clamoring to visit this place for years, but I finally got my wish, I guess. We left the hotel in Coney Island around 9am on Saturday, August 1st and drove the 90-ish minutes to wherever this place is on Long Island. Farmington or something?

East Farmingdale! Look at me, using Google.

I don’t have much to say about this place so this will be mostly a photo dump.

Oh! We parked next to a van from some Korean church and quickly realized that there was a Korean church group there that day so that was exciting for me!

Aside from that, it was not crowded at all for a Saturday in August.

Henry was irritated because he was trying to take pictures of us riding this surprisingly aggressive kiddie coaster but OTHER MOMS WERE ENCROACHING UPON HIM because they too wanted pictures of their children lol. This was one of 3 coaster credits that the park had to offer—well, technically 4 but their newest coaster is SBNO (standing but not operating) because there was an accident in June — it got stuck and a bunch of kids were stranded for like 4 hours. Neither Chooch nor I cared much because it’s not really something that we would consider a coaster anyway and looked kind of dumb.

As a darkride enthusiast first and foremost, I was excited for this Haunted Mansion thing with suspended cars but it was kind of lame and not memorable.

Chooch had to ride by himself. I don’t think he cared, lol.

I liked this part where the track came outside but other than that, it was 1980s K-mart caliber Halloween decorations.

I already talked about this boat ride in the VACATION INJURIES recap post, but here are more pictures because I truly feel like this was the best goddamn ride in the park. It was surprisingly thrilling!

I look ugly but at least not fat.

Had to get this Adventureland beer, of which I could only drink a few sips because it was only noon and like 100 degrees, plus I had a headache because I’m pretty sure I was dehydrated and should have been drinking water and not A BEER. Henry happily finished it for me and then had to carry the empty can around the rest of the time because I needed to keep the label for my vacation journal #DORKUSMCGEE

It was really good though and I wish I could have finished it on my own!

I also had a CHURRO which I never get but felt super inspired on this day and you know what? It was a basic churro like the kind the pretzel place at Century III Mall used to sell but IT HIT THE SPOT as the elderlies say when they get a cup of pickled beets at the buffet.

I don’t know if this was a bachelorette party or what but these bitches dressed as Guy Fieri was random and funny. Not hilarious, but I smiled.

Most of them took their wigs off which was lame Commit to the bit or go home, you know? If I had been the leader of this group, the wigs would have stayed the fuck on all day.

I didn’t like this carouselfie so I made them ride it again later and Henry was in charge of the picture-taking. They were both mad at me but it was STILL MY BIRTHDAY so they weren’t at liberty to express their displeasure with me and had to communicate it to each other through intense eye movements behind my back YES I COULD FEEL IT.

I loved Chooch’s cat, lol.

I made Chooch ride the balloons and he was annoyed but was unable to say no since it was STILL MY BIRTHDAY.

Probably complaining to his friends about me. TOO BAD THEY LIKE MY INSTAGRAM POSTS and think I’M COOL.

Fireball was the third stupid credit but it was being repaired for the first 2 hours we were there AND I REFUSED TO LEAVE until we got to ride it. I was stalking the fuck out of it and kept begging Henry to ask if it was going to open but he was like I AM NOT ASKING WHILE THE MAINTENANCE MEN ARE ACTIVELY WORKING ON IT THAT’S ANNOYING TO THEM!!

Wow, OK sorry I didn’t know he was a member of the theme park maintenance union and gets their monthly GRIEVANCES newsletter.

Ew, lol.

Oh I should note that Henry had no choice but to get a wristband for this place so he rode FOUR THINGS:

• the spinny coaster
• the dark ride
• the carousel
• the train

Henry really out there living large.

We even rode the swings while waiting for Fireball to open. Some old man was riding it every time I looked over and he was riding it when we went on too! Made me think of my precious Stanley of Kennywood’s Swingshot fame.

I kept yelling at Chooch to put his dumb Carrot crocs in sports mode before the swings started but he REFUSED.

ON MY BIRTHDAY!!

He was like, “THESE SHOES ARE NOT COMING OFF MY FEET, TRUST ME.”

I was having sweaty flashbacks to the time I was a kid and my sandal flew off on the Paratroopers at Kennywood and the ride operator was screaming at me afterward and made me cry so Amy Lackzo’s mom SCREAMED BACK AT HER.

Yeah, GET HER GIRL!

I mean, ma’am.

Mrs. Laczko.

I couldn’t ride this because my head hurt so fucking bad and Henry wouldn’t get me aspirin!!! What a great fucking caretaker he is.

I was excited because of the Korean church people were on the train with us and one of them was counting down in Korean before taking a selfie with her children and it was music to my ears.

Yeah but “Adventureland” was filmed at Kennywood!!!

Also I just realized the Chaka Khan reference up there, a day after the Chaka Khan subway concert!

The way I bided my time, you guys. Normal people were like, “Oh, it’s not running right now we will go ride something else like normies” while I was lurched forward on a bench, PANTING over this fucking thing. WRINGING MY HANDS. So stressed.

Eventually, they sent a test car through, and then one of the bored ride attendants grudgingly pocketed his phone, walked down to the entrance, MOVED THE GARBAGE CAN BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE, and then walked back to the station WITH NO FANFARE.

But I saw it and yelled, “RUN!!!!” to Chooch who walked like a NORMIE, like a FUCKING GENERAL POP, while I flailed full speed to the entrance before anyone else had a chance to notice that it was open now.

AND GOOD THING TOO because as soon as Chooch and me got belted into the first car, people started pointing and jogging over. THE LINE WAS LONG BY THE TIME WE GOT OFF because the thru-put of this type of coaster is so low.

The whole time we were on this boring-ass ride, I was gloating and yelling, “FIRST!!” like anyone gave a shit when in actuality they were happy we went first, little fucking guinea pigs. Test that ride out for us, dum-dums, they were probably saying.

This was 100% not worth the wait if you’re not a thoosie but!! If you collect credits, it’s a cool one because this is the only coaster of this model in North America.

You learn something new from me all of the time, admit it. Admit that you tell your dentist and pastor and census taker these SUPER COOL facts that you collect from my blog.

(Are census takers still a thing? I tried to be one years ago and never got called back. Probably because they made us take A TEST in the library and it had math problems on it!!!)

OK, I truly think that was all that happened. We got that credit re-rode Turbulence (it was an OK coaster) and then headed out to the next and last park of the weekend birthday trip!

I bought myself a plastic 35mm camera from Lomography earlier this summer and took it for a spin on our recent trip to Coney Island—oh you didn’t know we went to Coney Island based on all of the stupid ass posts on here over the last two weeks? Must be nice!

Anyway, a ton of the pictures didn’t turn out because I legit forgot that I was using a cheap film camera and was stupidly using it at night without a flash before I realized what I was doing so I wasn’t surprised when I got a bunch of black scans back. Anyway, here are the best ones. Please do enjoy yourself and don’t slam the door too hard on your way out.

Ew why is Henry standing so worm-y!?

This was a house on the street where we ate breakfast at Milk & Honey.

I don’t recall giving Henry permission to use my camera.

This one is my favorite. This camera was definitely made for gritty city photography.

On the Wonder Wheel! Wearing my Johnnie Guilbert shirt that Chooch hates!

Bored on the tea cups.

My stupidly taking a picture of fireworks from the teacups and expecting it to turn out, LOL.

OK that’s all. This was just using the pre-loaded film that came with the camera so I’m going to play around with different / better films. I have a Mr. Negative roll sitting here that I will probably try next and ONLY shoot in daylight unless I’m inside shooting someone in the face with the flash on.

(Maybe this will be good for Riot Fest?!)

Bro, when I saw this posted on Instagram and noticed that Azizzy would be performing, I excitedly shoved my phone in Henry’s bearded grill and squealed, “We have to go!!!”

Just to clarify, that was me doing the squealing.

After witnessing Azizzy’s clown performance at the last Glitterbox event we attended, I declared myself their #1 fan. And then followed them on Instagram. And then fanned myself when they followed me back. I wrote the book on parasociology, OK child.

This wasn’t technically a clown show, but a variety show. As the flyer suggests.

Obviously.

We went into this knowing nothing.  I did tell Henry though that I wanted to get there later than we usually do—we always arrive RIGHT WHEN DOORS OPEN and sometimes the flyer is incorrect so we get there even earlier than the Glitterbox and their artists would like.

“I want to get there closer to 7pm so we don’t look so EAGER BEAVER like we have previously. I don’t want these people to think I’m like, obsessed or something,” I said matter-of-factly earlier in the day on Tuesday.

“But, you are obsessed,” Henry so kindly pointed out for the studio audience.

OF COURSE we still got there too early so we just chilled in the car which was probably even creepier than sliding through the front door like Joey and Chandler on a wheeled dog sculpture minus the dog sculpture and it’s actually just me barging through the door with HELLO I’M HERE frantic energy while Henry causally slumps in behind me.

We started seeing all kinds of people walking to Glitterbox and I was like, “Oh thank god, there are going to be lots of people in the crowd tonight!” and then Doris arrived too! I was like, “Yay, it’s Doris!”

But guess what!? ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE WERE GOING UPSTAIRS TO A CLOWN CLASS.

So, when we walked into the theater at 7PM, it was….JUST US. And then the performers (Skeeter & Kev + Matthew from the Saga of the Shining Emblem – we did not know that that was who they were at the time) arrived right after us. The guy who is normally there running the ticket booth and concessions wasn’t there that night, but a different person—Anna—was holding it down and she was super nice. Actually, I’m pretty sure Henry was sitting next to her at the first clown show we attended, where her wife got to participate in one of the skits. I had a feeling that night that they were both Glitterbox-affiliated.

Drinking a spicy ginger beer at the Glitterbox and sitting in anticipation of what we’re about to spectate has become my favorite thing over these last several months. It’s something different every time and it never disappoints!

Two more people arrived and eventually I realized that the audience was just going to be the 4 of us, plus the performers, one of the performer’s partner, and Anna. How does this happen!? I need to take it upon myself to be the street team for Glitterbox events. Unfortunately, this one was just posted a week prior to the show, super short notice for people who aren’t obsessive like me. I did have THREE friends say that they’re interested in future clown shows though so I you better believe this information is stored away in the steel trap that is my somewhere-on-the-spectrum mind.

Well, anyway—let me give a quick run-down of the evening because you TRULY HAD TO BE THERE.

Kev was the super chill and funny MC of the night. We had a fun little local beer discourse because he said when Anna was helping him stay hydrated at the concession stand, he asked for an Iron City Beer and she called it “shitty beer” so he was asking us if that’s true. Then he asked what local breweries to check out and no one else was saying anything so I yelled, “Hitchhiker” which I do like BUT WHY DID I NOT SAY LOLEV?!!? That is my BELOVED.

Anna suggested East End which is definitely the better answer because that is wildly considered the “standard” when it comes to Pgh beer I guess.

(Kev, Skeeter, and Matthew are from Brooklyn, BTW.)

The first performer of the night was a local stand-up comedian, Alex, and he was OK. I’m admittedly not a huge stand-up fan and this guy’s humor and delivery reminded me of someone I work with who I don’t find very funny.

Skeeter came out in between acts to get us politically riled up, perform some of his slam poetry, and read from his journal titled BREAST MILK & AGAVE. I loved their little in-between acts and banter!

Then it was Azizzy’s allotted 10 minutes on stage and this is when I was like OH SHIT WHAT IS THIS FAMILIAR YET UNFAMILIAR FEELING ALL AT ONCE,  I THINK I HAVE MY FIRST EVER CLOWN CRUSH????!!!  Later, Henry said, “Yeah, no shit.”

He always knows before I do.

You guys, Azizzy is so talented though. Their absurdist pantomiming makes me laugh so hard that I actually felt like I was hungover the next morning. And Henry enjoys it too which is crazy because he and I usually have VERY different tastes when it comes to comedy. I am super picky, but Azizzy checks all my boxes.

:)

They dropped the lid to their tin of hair gel, which was one of their props, and I was so excited when it rolled straight toward me. Henry made fun of me later for the overeager speed I snatched it up, like anyone else was going to lurch themselves toward it or fight me for it like a sticky wedding bouquet, but I was just so desperate to have the opportunity to interact with them by handing it back to them!!!

I kept saying, “Remember when I picked up Azizzy’s hair gel lid?” all week while Henry was hunkering down in the basement building a sailboat to float him away from FML Island.

The main act was the Saga of the Shining Emblem, which is a live-active improv version of a Choose Your Own Adventure book, led by Matthew. He took the stage in a vert dramatic fashion with a booming, mystical soundtrack and shrouded in a velvet cloak.

It was SO FUNNY and creative, and unlike ANYTHING I have ever seen performed in front of me before. It was awkward when he asked for someone to volunteer to be the HERO of the story. There were only 4 of us and no one was making a move, so finally Azizzy, now in their civilian clothes, volunteered. I am so glad because I would have been a disaster up there. I mean, you only had to answer a few questions to keep the plot going but unlike the book, THERE WEREN’T OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM and my brain would have surely short-circuited up there in the hot seat.

Azizzy did amazingly thought, OF COURSE!

Since this is Pittsburgh, the setting was THE PITT which made it extra funny. I wish there has been some reference to DANA’S TERRIBLE YINZER ACCENT though

Azizzy made it through to the end and was awarded AN ACTUAL SHINING EMBLEM — FOR KEEPS!!! — at the end, so maybe I had some regrets at that point for being a little wussy baby shy girl.

Skeeter came out with more performative activism at the end (but no sincerely FREE PALESTINE all day long!!) and Kev had us all sign his shirt! As a Leo, this was something that had me practically knocking over chairs to do. I fucking love writing my name.

Henry went to the bathroom before leaving and I saw a chance to talk to Azizzy SO I TOOK IT. God, why am I so socially awkward though. I was smiling like a lunatic, I could feel it, and saying the dumbest things. But! They said they were glad to see that we came out for this and I had to stop myself from saying IF YOU WILL BE THERE I WILL BE THERE. Meanwhile, Henry was coming back from the bathroom and was probably like, “Oh Jesus Christ, here we go.”

I said that I have always loved clowns, my house has clown art everywhere, and when I saw that these clown shows were a thing it felt like this was the next natural step which they took way too literally and started telling me about the clown classes that are held there, and maybe I should even consider improv, etc. Oh can you even imagine what a nightmare I would be in that environment?! The social anxiety and stage fright would kill me if the stress of even just THINKING about it didn’t get to me first.

I can’t even remember how the conversation ended because I am so awkward and don’t know how to wind things down but I think I stupidly said that I hoped to see them perform again and they were like “yes, please!” and I said, “I’LL LOOK FOWARD TO IT.”

UGH.

I hate myself so much, I’m such a fucking nerd.

But other that, it was an amazing night and I was so giddy the whole way home. I feel like Henry and I are really getting out there and doing new things which has helped my depression and empty nest syndromeTREMENDOUSLY. Highly recommend looking at the events pages of random local theaters and venues, finding one that sounds interesting, and just going for it. It’s opened up a whole new world of performance art for us that we didn’t know existed AND I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS SCENE. It has cured my boredom.

Chooch was obsessed with this bagel place that was at the bottom of the station near our hotel.

Brooklyn pigeons.

On the walk back to Coney Island.

IF YOU READ MY LAST POST, YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON HERE.

On the teacups.

Obviously.

Not paying attention to us riding the teacups.

The Charmera can only do so much, you guys.

And whoa-ho-ho-ho, here’s a bonus montage of us riding rides, etc. Mostly I just saved a bunch of photos as videos to achieve this. I am getting lazier and lazier.

After our chaotic pitstop in Times Square, we came back to Luna Park in time for some sunset and night rides. We still had two coasters to knock off the list in Luna Park, and then it was time to go to the Deno’s Wonder Wheel section for the first time! If you’ve never been to Coney Island before, there are actually two separate parks that are operating there–Luna and Deno’s Wonder Wheel. Both are free to walk around, but unlike Luna Park’s ride-all-day wristband, Deno operates on a pay-per-ride system, or you can buy credits to put on a card. That’s what we did and got just enough to make sure we could do all of the coasters.

But first, we had to ride this absolute piece of shit coaster called Thunderbolt at Luna Park.

Henry failed to take pictures of us even though he was STANDING RIGHT THERE as our car came out of the station and I was making the universal “CLICK CLICK MOTHERFUCKER” motion with my hands and fingers but he just continued to stand there blankly, holding my pink purse. FAILURE.

Anyway, some things to note about this experience:

• there was a full-ass extended family standing in a clump, with a discarded baby in a stroller blocking the entrance to the coaster. It was so weird! I was like, “Am I going to have to push this baby out of the way?” but we were able to just squeeze past, garnering nary a glance from even ONE member of the family. HELLO, YOUR BABY IS GOING TO GET STOLEN.
• I like that some of the rides here have a little “coat check” window type thing where I person sits there and you hand them your personal items in exchange for a number on an elastic wrist band. I mean, I assume this person works at Luna Park and you’re not just handing your phones and wallets to a stranger, willy nilly.
• Some kid was lost and an employee was walking him back through the queue line, BARELY calling out, “Is this your kid?” to everyone — he was probably the older brother of the discarded baby!!!
• Chooch and I didn’t get to ride together because we volunteered when they were looking for two extra riders to fill up the empty seats in the car that was about to be sent. I felt rushed because of this and as soon as I sat down, I SLAMMED my elbows down hard on the restraints. Just some pre-gaming for the pain that was to come!
• Literally, this ride was so terrible. The profiling of that track made no sense to me and it was jacking up my spinal integrity at every turn. I just yelled, “OW” and “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST” through the whole thing. Fuck this coaster forever. It looks so cool but it is the DEVIL’S SPAWN.

Lastly, we had to ride the Steeplechase ride. There were these two girls fucking CRYING behind us because they wanted to cut the line but their mom wouldn’t let them because Chooch and I had gone all the way to the actual entrance like you’re supposed to, even though there was no line, so their mom made them wait until we got to the front of the line before letting them dip under the railing. So they were like WE WANTED TO SIT IN THE FRONT AND NOW WE CAN’T.

In hindsight, and actually if we’re being honest, immediately after it happened, I hate myself so much for what I did, but I turned to them and asked, “Do you want the front? If so, you can have it” because Chooch and I always take the back anyway. But their little bitchy reaction was SO FUCKING ENRAGING that we should have just taken the fucking front row anyway because they didn’t even THANK US. Dumb fucking little bitch kids!!!!

Chooch was SO PISSED OFF AT ME, too. I was pissed off at myself too!! Why did I do that!?! I should have made them SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

The ops were so slow even though they were running two trains and Chooch was still mad at me and my hair was a fucking rat’s nest.

Then it was Wonder Wheel time! You have to pay for this separately and Henry actually bought himself a ticket too. The only thing he rode at Coney Island!!

I was so sad that we didn’t get even a torn off portion of the ticket because you know me and my journaling habits.

The line was really long but then some Wonder Wheel guy made his way through the line, calling out, “SWINGING? SWINGING?” and no one was saying anything but we were like, “YES! US! SWINGING!” and we got to completely cut the line because apparently no one wants to sit in the swinging cars. Well, we did because we’ve never been on a ferris wheel with swinging cars before!

It was a lot of fun and also legitimately scary. That was some violent rocking motion!

You can see the track of the one coaster that was actually SO GOOD—Phoenix. Just a little family suspended coaster that can sometimes be super head-bangy but this one was so smooth and legit. I loved the ride attendants too because they were so chill and had their skateboards laying in the station. They also got us super hyped to ride it too and I thought they were just psyching us out for the traumatic head-banging and lumbar bruising that was to follow. But no, it was actually so much fun and when we arrived back at the station, they were like, “DO YOU WANT TO GO AGAIN???” and we were all like, “YEAHHHHHH” and so they sent us again and when we rejoined Henry I told him they only did it because one of them said, “OMG are you wearing a Johnnie Guilbert shirt?? YOU GET TO RIDE AGAIN!” Chooch knew I was going to say this and didn’t support it.

Henry actually looked like he was about to believe it though!

The world’s largest!!

I loved this iconic dark ride! But first, when we were in line, some man in front of us picked something up off the ground and then asked me, “Did you drop this?” It was a $100 bill! I said, “Nooooo!” in a tone that was better reserved for someone holding a discarded syringe for some reason!? Like he was holding an envelope of anthrax??

Chooch was like, “WHY DID YOU SAY NO?”

Because it wasn’t mine!!!! I don’t want that bad karma hanging over my head on a weekend we’re going to be putting our lives in the hands of hopefully competent amusement park maintenance crews and ride operators!!

If I had lied and said yes, I would not have been able to sleep that night.

Although I could have put that toward my salon budget. JFC MY HAIR. This summer has bruised and abused it but don’t worry I’m finally getting it done this week. These pictures were the fire I needed under my ass.

LOL, this was SO AWKWARD. We only got on it because NO ONE ELSE WAS IN LINE. But as soon as we usurped the two front seats, suddenly EVERY PARENT IN THE BOROUGH was in line with their children, so many that they had to wait for the next train and it felt like everyone was GLARING at the two adults who took up two perfectly good seats meant for children. I was actually so embarrassed because the train just sat there forever, with more and more parents and children entering the line, it was just growing longer and longer and I was desperate for it to just START already so they could all stop staring.

Meanwhile, there was a Michael Jackson impersonator working double duty as a Tilt-a-Whirl operator. Chooch spotted him while our muscles were atrophying  from sitting in wait for so long on the Sea Serpent coaster so we decided that riding teh Tilt-a-Whirl after this was a must.

But first, we had to go and look at our Sea Serpent pictures at the kiosk and it just so happened that the lady who was behind me with her kid also were looking at the pictures and I was like OMG, OH SHIT because I was in EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR PHOTOS.

LOOKING LIKE A FUCKING CREEP.

Like the neighborhood hoarder recluse who comes out once a year to ride things meant for small children.

That was me. In every picture. Smiling like a deranged woman looking for a child to steal for tomorrow’s stew.

Chooch was like, “HOLY SHIT YOU RUINED EVERY ONE OF THOSE PHOTOS!” and the funniest thing is that SHE STILL BOUGHT ONE.

Actually, I’m kind of glad that I gave the most hideous photobomb of my life at this moment because she was encouraging her small kid to SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN even though the kid didn’t want to, so then finally the kid was like, OK HERE SHE BLOWS and by that I mean she was referencing the fact that she was seemingly to BLOW MY HEAD OFF with the force of her shrill AF shrieks. It was like military-grade auditory weaponry. I had an instant headache after that. Worse even than ANY kpop concert screaming I’ve endured.

We left the bubble of both parks to stroll the boardwalk for a bit (actually it was to walk down to the separate carousel that was included in our Luna Park wristbands BUT IT WAS CLOSED!!!) and we saw this totally random and exotic animal chilling with its person. I have no idea what this is—COMMENT DOWN BELOW IF YOU KNOW. (lol, comment farming)

This was supposed to be Milano cookie gelato and it was gross. Chooch ended up taking most of it off my hands (after making Henry use a spoon to scrape off the layers I touched. I AM HIS MOM AND THIS IS SO OFFENSIVE TO ME).

Not pictured because Grampa Henry wandered off somewhere with my purse and phone but Chocoh and I rode the Tickler again and some kid cut us!!! It was the only time all weekend that we experienced cutting. He was probably 9 or 10, and riding alone which was even more irritating because it meant he was going to take an entire 4-seat car to himself.

While we were in line, the fireworks started so I was trying to use that distraction as a way to edge past him and reclaim our rightful spots in line, but there was a group of Korean girls in front of him who were super engrossed in the taking pictures of the fireworks (WHICH I COULDN’T DO BECAUSE HENRY HAD MY PHONE) so they weren’t moving up in line and we had no room to try and squeeze past the cutter.

Long story short, he made it all the way to the station without us being able to cut him back. Chooch was cracking up because we were being so ridiculous and passive aggressive, playing petty mind games with a child. But you guys, why am I such a softie these days—when it was his turn, the ride attendant (A SUPER CUTE YOUNG KOREAN GUY) was like, “You’re back!” and the kid totally lit up and nodded. When he was sitting in the car getting ready to go, he looked so stoked and excited and then I looked at Chooch and said, “OK, now I feel bad. This kid clearly wants to ride this way more than we do. Ugh.”

OMG this cute little girl (and you know she was charming if I am saying that!!) was in front of us in line and kept telling her mom she wanted to ask someone if she could sit with them because she was riding by herself and kept eyeing us up but her mom was like, “Just chill.” I wanted to tell her she could sit with us in a car-thingie but didn’t for some reason, I guess I used my daily allotment of “being a good person” on those two spoiled bitches on the Steeplechase and didn’t want to get burned again!

But it worked out that she and some random guy who was also a single rider needed somewhere to sit so the ride attendant brought them over to us! I asked the girl if she wanted to sit in the front and she said YES with actual excitement so I sat in the back with the random guy. It was so adorable because she was chatting away with Chooch like they were old buds and he was pointing out that Xenobia flippy ride and told her that he rode that and she was like WOW.

Props to her for riding this alone though because it flips you upside down pretty aggressively!

We were over Henry by this point. Also, we were riding random shit at Luna Park to get the most out of our wristband before midnight.

I didn’t want the night to be over so I kept stalling and saying, “Let’s just do one more lap so I can take a few more pictures, guys…”

There’s nothing like carnival lights on a summer night by the ocean. It just instantly improves my mood.

OK. I’ll wrap up this portion of my birthday trip. Goodbye, Luna Park.

(SIKE! I have a photo dump of Charmera pics coming up next.)

I completed my 100 books challenge at some point in July, so that was cool!

1. Japanese Gothic by Kylie Lee Baker

This one didn’t hit as hard as her last book, for me anyway. It didn’t feel like a “horror” book to me either but more like, historical/mythological dark fantasy? Is this a genre? If so, I would not have picked this book up in the first place then.

2. The Summer of Broken Rules by K.L. Walther

I enjoyed this and it made me wish I had an extended family that convened every summer on Martha’s Vineyard. One of my friends reviewed it with “I am too old to read about 18-year-olds summer romance” but maybe I’m just super young at heart because I loved it and thought it was really sweet.

There’s an underlying storyline about the main character’s older sister dying previously in a car accident and I really felt that too. I don’t know, maybe this landed in my hands at the right time when my heart was feeling extra weak because I ate this up and didn’t roll my eyes even ONCE.

3. William by Mason Coile

This was “meh” until the end and then I felt like the Kombucha meme. I just really want to read something SCARY though and nothing is doing it for me!

4. Girls Girls Girls by Shoshana von Blanckensee

I liked the 90s San Fran setting. The characters? Not so much.

5. The Safekeep by Yael van der Wouden

OK most of this book is so boring, it’s like watching someone paint a portrait of pears. I almost DNF’d a few times. But then….the thing happens. And the pace finally picks up. And I am so glad I stuck with it.

6. Night Objects by Eli Raphael

This made me so sad. But I liked it 4 stars worth. Dark academia is sometimes very hit or miss with me but this one was pretty compelling—the back and forth between now and then was frustrating at times because I’d be really into it only to have to readjust to preset day or whatever. This also made me really glad that I went to regular old basic public school—isn’t high school already hard enough with regular non-secret society cliques and bullies?!

There is a whole thing with a death of a parent and that was really upsetting.

7. Somebody Worth Killing by Jessica Payne

OMG a hitwoman keeping her profession a secret from her family—you’ve read one, you’ve read ’em all.

8. Doll Parts by Penny Zang

This was billed as The Virgin Suicides meetsI Have Some Questions For You, both of which I loved. I was lied to. This book was really fucking terrible.

AND LONG. 400 pages was not doing way too much.

9. Helpless by Jessica Knoll

This was pretty fucking wild and I’m still not even sure what really happened but it was violent and hot (sometimes the intersection between the two was a bit too much). I think with this author, it’s the actual writing that I love so much. (I previously read Bright Young Women and felt the same about that too.)

10. Mansion Beach by Meg Mitchell Moore

An entertaining summer read. I kept thinking it felt like Great Gatsby a little bit and then I realized this was intentional, lol. I’m so smart!!!!11111

11. The Love Haters by Katherine Center

Bro, everyone is all qtipping their dickholes over Emily Henry when Katherine Center is RIGHT THERE. I’m not a big romance reader, but each of her books that I have read so far have been more character-focused and it’s so my style. And this one has the cutest side character in a Great Dane called George Bailey. LOVED HIM. This book was so sweet.

12. Look What You Made Me Do by John Lanchester

Sometimes I get audio books from Hoopla when I’m waiting on other things and need something ASAP to start listening to on my next walk and almost always they end up being so bad. This was one of those. I know I was making a really ugly face the whole time I was listening to this—-in public. Ugh.

13. We Burned So Bright by T.J. Klune

OK this guy had me wrapped around his finger while reading The House in the Cerulean Sea a few years back. I was so charmed by his writing. But the last few books of his have been so fucking annoying and cringey. He basically uses the same formula over and over and it just ISN’T WORKING FOR ME ANYMORE, GO AWAY. This is also how I feel about Emily Henry, btw. Every main character she writes is just Lorelai Gilmore in a new setting with a new love interest who was the same as the last love interest who also has Luke vibes. So I just constantly picture Luke and Lorelai every time I read one of her books now.

Anyway, the characters this guy creates are so dumb and have the most unrealistic conversations with each other. It’s half past quirky and more toward STFU.

14. Today Tonight Tomorrow (Rowan & Neil, #1) by Rachel Lynn Solomon

Hilariously, the plot of this book was almost exactly the same as the one in The Summer of Broken Rules—both books are centered around basically the same game being played. And yet, this one still felt different enough to me that I didn’t really notice and ended up liking it just as much.

Sometimes, I just want a good, fun YA book  to relive my high school years, OK!?

And those were the books I read in July, cha cha cha.

To recap, we decided to take a break from Luna Park and come to Times Square for no reason and had a harrowing experience on the subway. Now here are pictures (both from my phone and my precious baby girl Charmera) and hopefully only a few words because I am so behind.

Saw this after the ANGRY MAN incident happened — is it BLOOD? An OMEN?

Chooch saw some broad at Luna Park wearing an I <3 NY shirt and it made him remember that he has “always” wanted to get one to be ironic? So we had to be extra obvious tourists and pop into one of the many souvenir stores so he could get one which was actually so annoying until I realized A DAY LATER that we were in NYC at the same as WAYV (part of NCT, you wouldn’t understand!) and they were also in a souvenir store!!! PROBABLY NOT THE SAME ONE but still.

Henry and Chooch are usually my good luck charms when it comes to running into bands/etc that I love but they must be getting tarnished in their old age because we saw a nary famous person.

Anyway, Chooch bought this dumb shirt and then went to put it on the next day and even though he bought a large, it fit him like a $15 bodycon dress so guess who has an I <3 NY shirt now? Sigh.

I was happy to be there in general, but I didn’t know that Henry had chosen Times Square as our final destination because I would have definitely picked a different area. Also, this was so spur of the moment that LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE PLACE I have ever said, “Oh, I’d like to go there” over the last 5 years after seeing a YouTube video or Instagram reel was completely zapped from my memory so we kind of….just walked around with no plan. Like, in hindsight, we could have went to Chelsea Market!

But even though we’ve been to Times Square before and had absolutely no need to be there again, it was still fun to just be out and about and not in the amusement park bubble all day. Plus, people watching is superb as always.

Also, I was still playing the birthday card so Chooch posed for lots of forced-smile photos for me :)

I had to also save this photo as a video because the way Chooch quickly drops the smile at the end is the standard.

The Charmera was made for cities like NYC. I wasn’t even trying to frame aesthetic shots but Charmera gave them to me anyway.

Henry was very careful not to make ANY EYE CONTACT with these guys doing street dancing lest he get a double whammy of public humiliation AND swindled again.

I was trying to take a picture of this person dressed as LABUBU (I’m obsessed with them in case you didn’t know and have been asking for one for Christmas/my birthday for like three years and have still not received one) but Henry was all, “THEY’RE GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT’ causing me to photographically behead the precious LABUBU in a panic.

Cortis! I get happy anytime I see any KPOP group on a billboard that’s not BTS.

Anyway, during all this overstimming at Times Square, we were trying to find somewhere to eat that would make all of us happy. OK who are we kidding—something that Chooch and I could agree on, Henry doesn’t get a vote. Chooch wanted to go to some pingpong restaurant so we could eat and play pingpong but I wasn’t in the mood for games and it was still my extended birthday, so…

But then Chooch didn’t want to get pizza again, which is what I lowkey wanted…

We were getting close to the edge of hanger but then Chooch was like, ‘What is this fake Irish pub looking thing, oh look, they have veggie burgers.” I was already sold on the veggie burger, but then I saw on the menu that they had mushroom ravioli and you know what? I wanted that. So some old man saw us peeping the outside menu and ushered us through the door and up the steps to the restaurant portion of the Celtic Pub or whatever it was.

The old man ^^

Carrie Venmo’d me birthday beer money which I thought was so nice! So you know what? I GOT ONE. It was a Coney Island IPA! It was really good. Plus, I needed alcohol to desizzle my nerves after the subway scaries.

My ravs were pretty good and satisfying.

Chooch’s veggie burger, lol.

OMG you guys, the people at the table next to us were a nightmare for anyone with sound sensitivities and whatever the “aversion to the sound of mastication” is called—I know it but can’t remember and don’t feel like looking it up even though in the time it took me to type this just now I could have easily done so. I think it was a mom, dad, and older daughter situation going on. The daughter wasn’t offensive at all. She spoke quietly.

But the mom COULD HAVE BEEN JANICE FROM FRIENDS IF I KEPT MY EYES CLOSED to the point where I thought she was doing it on purpose. And she was so loud. The entire restaurant knows where they were staying because she kept screaming it for some reason. And then she was scrolling through her phone looking for things for them to do later, like ghost tours, and then she kept saying, “Or we can go to Greenwich Village” because so-and-so said that they should but she was pronouncing it GREEN-WITCH and I wanted to die.

The worst out of all three of them was the dad who was eating some giant fried seafood platter or something AND GROTESQUELY LICKING HIS FINGERS ONE-BY-ONE AFTER EACH BITE. He was sucking each one off so violently that there was a POP at the end of each one.

Chooch and I exchanged a GLANCE when it happened the first time and it ended up being the second trauma bond of the day.

There blows Janice and Finger-Licker.

I do regret not getting a grilled cheese and cheesecake at Juniors though. WE ALMOST WENT IN TWICE. But Chooch was being a baby about not wanting grilled cheese. (It was like the only option for us veg-dorks.)

Chooch had to stare at this large Spiderman ad outside the window the entire time and I was dying. He was so pissed about not being able to see the advanced screening because I had the nerve to have a birthday. SORRY I EXIST.

(He has seen it since then and only gave it a three on Letterboxd and said it was “just alright.” Or maybe it was 3.5, I can’t remember. That was a whole week ago.)

OH P.S. this restaurant was called THE PLAYWRIGHT. I had to look in my vacation journal—THIS IS WHT I KEEP A JOURNAL, YOU GUYS.

Passing by the weener again. The one great thing about Times Square is that absolutely no one pays attention to you because they are so preoccupied with taking their own pictures so I feel invincible there.

NYC makes Chooch turn into a 10-year-old again and he was screaming, “LET’S GO TO THE M&M STORE GUYS! LET’S GO SEE HAMILTON! I WANT TO GO TO THE LEGO STORE! I’M BORED! OOOH THE FAMILY GUY EXPERIENCE LET’S DO IT!” So annoying, lol.

Chooch was whining about wanting to go in the Pele store so we did. I was excited to see some Sonny and Haaland pictures but other than that I thought it was kind of dumb in there and said so.

“Yeah, I agree,” Chooch said and I couldn’t believe he was agreeing with me!!

We did randomly go in this…gourmet? designer? sardine store because the cool tins caught our eyes. Henry wouldn’t go in with us because he was probably afraid of the temptation. I actually did want him to buy some though so we could add more trash art to our hoarder’s gallery.

Then we went to Line Friends so I could buy some ZO&FRIENDS merch which if you didn’t know is a whole line of cute stuff based off of G-DRAGON’S cat Zoe <3 I got a plush blind box, a journal, and a pouch!

There was also some ATEEZ stuff too and I was so happy to see that this isn’t all BT21 bullshit, I do miss the original Line Friends though. We had gone a few times in Korea before BTS usurped it.

Jongho is my ATEEZ bias in case you didn’t know.

And then it was time to take the hour-long ride back to Coney Island so we could finish out the day at Luna Park and Deno’s Wonder Wheel Park. 

It was a whirlwind, but that’s the only way we know how to do anything!

Paul, I have been putting off writing about this because it sincerely upset me so bad.

So, after we spent the first half of the day at Luna Park and then rested a bit at the hotel, we walked to the nearest train station so we could go into Manhattan. However, the one we needed to get had a sign up that said it wasn’t servicing Manhattan that week until after 3:30PM because of track something or other. I stopped reading the sign. The alternative was to take the train the opposite direction to Coney Island and then transfer to another train that runs to Manhattan. It was either that or stand there for 30 minutes, which honestly would have been the smart thing to do.

But instead, we got off at Coney Island and then immediately crossed over the platform to another train that was just sitting there waiting. This station is the end of the line so it was really nice to get on empty trains every time!

Anyway, we had JUST sat down in the mostly empty car when there was a really loud and angry scream from outside on the platform. Then the owner of the scream came STORMING onto the train. Two people were like, “Nope, nuh-uh” and swan-leapt out of train just as the doors were closing.

Wish that had been us, but instead, we were now stuck in this car with a RAVING MAD PERSON who was screaming literal death threats at someone we couldn’t see. I don’t think he was on the phone. I think he was having an actual psychotic break.

There were two older men who were sitting near him and, after exchanging a look, got up and walked to the other side of the car. This left NO BUFFER between Mr. Manifesto and us. On the other side of us were maybe 10 other people. I kept making eye contact with a woman sitting cattycorner from Henry who had the misfortune of FACING the man. None of us made a move.  And at this point, after jumping reflectively each time he PUNCHED THE SIDE OF THE CAR WITH HIS BARE FIST, I was afraid of calling attention to myself by trying to move further into the car.

He also had a backpack which is never a scary thing. Nope, we’re not scared of screaming, furious men with backpacks.

I will say that he was a man of a certain religion based on his attire, and white, but from what I could piece together his raging didn’t seem religiously motivated, unless he was accusing Mother Mary of fucking someone else. Because that seemed to be the impetus here—someone had cheated on him and he was going to burn their fucking house down, kill them, kill himself, burn it all.

It was this, over and over again, while he paced up and down, back and forth, picked up his backpack, slammed his backpack onto the floor, punched the metal wall.

There was an MTA worker who kept a watchful eye on the situation from the window in between our car and the next, but like…was she calling the police? What was going to happen? My pulse was off the charts. Henry and I held eye contact from across the car and all I could think was, “Is this it? Is this how we die? Are we all going to be killed because I just HAD to come here for my birthday? I dragged them to Brooklyn and now we’re going to get gunned down?”

Of-fucking-course this train had ZERO STOPS for what felt like 15 minutes. I was staring out of the window  next to Henry’s head, thinking over and over inside of my head, “PLEASE DON’T KILL US, PLEASE DON’T KILL US, PLEASE DON’T HAVE A GUN. OR A KNIFE. OR A BOMB.”

OK look, pretend like Chooch is bigger than me or that this was 2016. My Mom Brain still pictures him as a 10-year-old.

This man NEVER STOPPED. I was jolted out of my cower from yet another loud punch or aggressive hurl of his backpack, like a kid hiding in their room from an alcoholic parent. (I always go right to that analogy even though my parents aren’t alcoholics but my birth dad—who died when I was 3—was, so maybe I have subconscious trauma stemming from that, 47 years later. And now this HAVING A BAD DAY guy on the New York subway was triggering THE FUCK out of me. I’m not going to pretend that I wasn’t on the verge of tears.

I didn’t even try to set my phone to record because I didn’t want to make any sudden movement that would draw attention to us. For the most part, it seemed like he didn’t notice the existence of anyone on our end of the car and I wanted to keep it that way.

Finally—F I N A L L Y—the train came to a stop and almost ALL of us in that car hurled ourselves out of the door and ran into the next car. I canNOT believe some people stayed on, but those of us who escaped all shared knowing looks with each other while sitting down in our new threat-free car. And then, maybe 8 stops later, another person from our original car got on and all I could think was, “GIRL, how did you last that long on there with him???”

I have no idea whatever happened to him after that. I hope he didn’t actually go and burn down someone’s house. But you know I am not exaggerating when even Henry and Chooch were like, “JFC.” Henry wasn’t concerned that we were going to die though. “I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you,” he said.

“OH WOW SO YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE A BULLET FOR US?!” I cried.

“He did not have a gun,” Henry said calmly. OMG you guys I can’t believe I have been with Henry all this time and didn’t know until now that he has x-ray vision and scanned the man’s backpack from a distance with nothing but his bare eyeballs.

Once we got closer into the city, the doors opened and a man walked on with a fifth of something or other in a bag and a speak blasting THE BEST 80s and 90s r&b. It was the complete opposite end of the spectrum from that other guy and I finally felt my shoulders sink a little bit because this guys BROUGHT THE VIBES. Granted, he was blitzed AF, but there were a few of us who were seat-dancing a little bit because he was playing the JAMS.

Please enjoy these two short Charmera videos with extra shitty audio quality:

I kept hoping he would spill his subway hootch on Henry LOL.

Come on, though—CHAKA KHAN!

While the other guy was hands down the lowest of lows on this trip, this guy was one of the highest (probably literally lol). I wish he knew how much he improved my day—I was so sad when he got off before our stop! I will always think of him when I hear this song now.

I mean, in the end, it felt like we had a very authentic NYC subway/train experience. So, there’s that!

I found this in the attic of my childhood home a few weeks ago. It was from my nursery when we lived in a different house in South Park and it really struck a nostalgic chord when I saw it. Do I NEED anything else in my house? I mean, probably not but we’re still at “curated hoarding” over here so I’m making it work.

We put this giant Edison bulb in it and it now resides in the living room….sitting atop the nightstand from my old childhood bedroom which I also brought home. Lol ugh.

Why is it so hard for me to let go of stuff??

”Guess who I’m seeing Monday night,” I said to Chooch while we were still away last weekend, collecting bruises at amusement parks.

“I don’t know, is it something retrowave, clowns, Anthony Green again?” he guessed with more sarcasm and annoyance than actual interest, but it made me crack up because my interests have been so chaotic and Sybil-certified this past year.

”Royal Coda!” I cried, and then seeing his confusion, “Kurt Travis? Will Swan? SWANCORE?!”

The guy at the Preserving Records location down the street from me let me take this out of the window on Saturday since the show had already passed!  Henry was like, “Are you happy now, you big baby?” because I had been whining about wanting it ever since we passed the window on the way to the Hollywood Theater on Thursday. WHEN I WANT SOMETHING, I WANT IT BAD.

OK, so I will admit that maybe going to a concert right after coming home from a three-day weekend of relentless walking, roller coaster riding, navigating New York subways, and just being in the car in general wasn’t the smoothest move. But you guys, it was fucking Royal Coda, a Blue Swan band founded by guitarist Sergio Medina of the bands Stolas and Sianvar,  fronted by THE KURT TRAVIS, with THE INIMITABLE WILL SWAN ON GUITAR, Steffan Gotsch on bass (he was also with Kurt on his solo tour last year), and Joel Turcotte on drums (replacing Joseph Arrington of A Lot Like Birds, who has retired from music).

This probably means NOTHING to you but to me, it’s a powerhouse of swancore superstars and I thought it was just my fault that I had never seen them live, but then it turns out they had never come to Pittsburgh before until this night!

So, I mean, yeah—I was fucking exhausted and had to power through work that day with nothing but sheer will power and coffee guiding the way, but by 5:30PM, I was practically grand jeté-ing out the front door.

I mostly only used my Charmera for pictures that night. I find that it’s so much less invasive than holding up a phone and plus, I love the grungy “at a show in 1991” vibe it gives.

Anyway, that night’s show was held downstairs on the smaller stage which was whatever. I do really like the upstairs church room area so much more but I guess they must base it off ticket sales, I don’t know. I’ll just tell you that it got hot and sweaty in there FAST.

A cursory glance around the place was all I needed to know that these were the legit fans, the ones who probably also like Dance Gavin Dance but have been around longer than some and genuinely love post-hardcore and swancore. It felt like the kind of crowd that USED to be at DGD shows back in the day so I was already feeling comfortable. I can’t describe accurately the way that last DGD show made me feel other than: unbelonging. on the periphery. out of touch.

Like, way too much time had passed and they had somehow gained a ton of new very mainstream fans and it felt so inauthentic to me, but also maybe I was just in a bad spot in the venue. EVERYONE around me talked their tongues

I will just say that you know you’re at a show with people who TRULY like the music when everyone is in it 100% from opener to headliner. There is no chitty-chatty amongst friends while bands are playing. The lights go off before each set and everyone’s attention is turned toward the stage. It made me feel so content.

LOL. Henry actually likes Royal Coda but wasn’t a fan of any of the openers. Or the small space. Or the fact that he forgot this venue is cash only and used most of it on merch for me so he only had enough left to get a can of Coke and a bottle of water, LOL.

Oh man, first up was Amarionette—I was already familiar with them prior to this night but I fell IN LOVE after seeing them live.

In a scene that is predominantly white, I love that swancore bands tend to have so much diversity (still would LOVE to see more women in this niche scene though!!).

Next up was Strawberry Milk Cult. I really liked them! They brought a fun, indie rock sound to the line-up.

And then was Dwellings. It seemed like a lot of people were there for them. I know I have heard them on posthardcore playlists before because their name was definitely familiar and even now as I watch some of their videos, I don’t mind them. But live was a different story. I wasn’t sold. Plus I had a large man loudly singing along against the back of my head and I get it—sing your heart out bro–but can you save SOME of the song for the actual band? I would have liked to have heard their version of the songs as well.

See, like I’m watching this video here like, “OK I like this” but this is NOT the feeling I had when seeing them live. I kind of couldn’t wait for their set to end and that hasn’t happened in a while.

I just want to say that as the night progressed, the girl I was standing behind NEVER MOVED and was standing stalk still with her arms straight down and rigid. Not the slightest move of her head. Her boyfriend (brother? friend?) was with her and I thought that maybe she just didn’t want to be there but she did take some pictures during Royal Coda so she perhaps just wasn’t feeling the other bands. I only bring this up because there was a big-ish pocket of space in between her and the guy in front of her who also happened to be standing against the stage. So, if she would have JUST MOVED UP A LITTLE BIT, it would have been perfect. But instead, she kept letting other people slip into that space and it was infuriating. I SHOULD HAVE JUST STEPPED IN FRONT OF HER. I DON’T KNOW WHY I DIDN’T. It wasn’t the worst thing ever but by the time Royal Coda came on, she had let some dumb mom and her tall, curly-haired son squeeze in and I had no choice but to move further to the right which essentially prevented me from being able to see Will Swan during most of Royal Coda’s set.

And the only reason I’m mentioning this AT ALL is because there was something about this girl (from the back, anyway) that reminded me so much of this one broad from the Coaster Crew vacation that fucking hated me because I attempted to talk to her since she was there alone. When I mentioned this to Chooch, he goes, “Which one was Michelle, the one that hated you?”

Yes, Chooch. That’s the one. Sigh.

I was in heaven. There is something about this kind of music that tickles some part of my brain that does not get enough attention. I love that it’s melodic and frenetic in tandem, I love that Kurt goes from singing to screaming to his signature rapping, I love Will Swan’s and Sergio’s Medina’s chaotic guitars, I love the stage presence in general (yes, even Will Swan and his obligatory unmoving statue-stance, lol). I just loved the whole night, tiny annoyances and all.

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But yeah, who cares about anything else because Royal Coda came out and it was amazing, awesome, etc etc etc. I LOVE KURT TRAVIS SO MUCH.

When we got there, I was freshly showered with 10,000 steps on my FitBit. When we left, I was a stinking, sweating mess with 25,000 steps on my FitBit, LOL. That’s an indication of a good-ass evening.

And then I spent the rest of the week feeling LIKE SHIT. Totally run-down and exhausted and feeling every year of my age. Worth it, man. Going to shows is somehow way more fun now than it ever was.

(Henry probably has a different opinion.)

Saturday morning, when we were doing all that boring running around, I had on Royal Coda in the car.

“You know,” I said, getting ready to launch into Erin the Music Professor Mode, “every time I listen to anything with Kurt Travis in it, I feel so bad for not appreciating him more when he was in Dance Gavin Dance and do you know what that is, Henry? Maturity.”

Henry was appalled, gaping at me like I just told him I had switched over to MAGA. “You and ‘maturity’ do NOT go together,” he said.

WOWOWOWOW.

Also, Henry (who said he ‘enjoyed’ Royal Coda’s set but that was all), got me the signed poster – they were only selling 10 per show and you know how I love me some music memorabilia!